.howkie. i know i've been such a lazy ass with my blog lately.
here are some of my entries at my myspace blog.
go read and have fun. [;
howkie. i remember using those words on my bg few months ago. and it hit me again. but then, no, i'm not goin insane over here. *just a reminder* haha! i'm just feelin down with all this 'movin' thing.
living in a different country feels like goin on your first day, in your new school back when you were 6. horrible. although i got my family with me, its still different. i don't wanna get all mushy here coz there's nothin to fret about. *except for the weather. its freakin cold in here. thank God for the heater!*
i thank my friends too for sendin me non-stop msgs on my fone. man, i missed them a lot. esp my piggy. *ahuhu* they kept sane. yeah, they do.
we've been visitin my aunt's for the past 2 days. its helluva long drive. :( we applied for an sss number a while ago, only to find out that my name's still spelled incorrectly. hahai.
anyways, i don't want to keep this long. for everyone, forgive me for not replying right away, i'm still waiting for my laptop to arrive. plus, no pictures yet, forgot my cam at home. *tsk tsk*
two days had passed, few more months to go. haha!
"It's been awhile now. I hope she has moved on. I hope she's stronger now. My life is still a mess. I have yet to find myself." Hero said.
-- bus ride: buhawi angel
departure countdown.
i have yet to know what's ahead of me in a foreign land.
edit.edit.
my pangga did this for me and i totally love it. (wag ka na umangal pangga. hehe)
p a n g g a
kapkeyk bebolgam, pantetwin, chocnut kwin and yes my brEa Ü
She’s the female version of Adam Sandler to me, and, yes, Adam Sandler (aside from Shin Chan) can make my day with his wits and knack in jesting. However, she’s way way better, aside from the fact that Adam Sandler can’t pull off sailormoon undies as a uniform, we don’t have a connection. The simplicity of her personality appealed and moved me in a grandeur way, simple enough for me to see how genuine she is a person and as a friend. She’s one of those persons who boost my confidence naturally. There is even a possibility that she’s not aware of it, but her lil’ accolades and droll way of showing support is already adequate for my confidence level to equal Madonna’s.
Pangga, the 18th is already marked with a big X (not that I have my period) but yes, you are leaving. I know it won’t take long (I hope) however, our daily kulet convos and twaddle text messages became a part of my routine already. It’s just a soothing thought knowing that after a poo-filled day someone is willing to listen to my rank stories and be willing to laugh it all off with me. Sigh. Just want to thank you for laughing at my old hat jokes and pretending that it really makes you laugh (nah, I know, I’m just really funny. Haha). Thank you for making your bitch-slaps and forthright comments just right to wake up my senses and not hurt my feelings at the same time. Thank you for the surprise, yes, it was not known to me that you’re the mastermind, and now that I know, it doubly flattered me. Thank you for the secrets shared and kept, for the pieces of advice and yes, for the wonderful, superb friendship.
I will miss you pangga.
Don’t forget my Mango top (with bagoong of course).
(and so what if i stole this in your page, huh? angal ka?haha)
I LOVE YOU, BEBOLGAM Ü
i'm slowly drowing in this puddle of weakness.
i'm leavin for the US on the 18th already. hahai.
together we'll enjoy the beauty of sunset,
the wonderful music of the waves,
and the sight of this paradise. .
You and me, together. .
A sight that will never be. . FOREVER. .
I hope I'd get to find some answers for my troubles, may the sunshine enlighten my fickle mind (pangga's words)
At some point, you'll learn that no matter how hard you play by the rules, make all the right notes and try to be Miss Perfect In Every Way, you don't always get the results you hoped for.
". .the agony of holding on and the wonderful feeling of letting go. .
I love you so much that it hurts.
Hey people, whoever's goin to be in Bora from Friday until Tuesday, message and up and let's get wasted.
Love is what i felt, a great feeling of bliss.
Yet, love is cruel. It crushes your heart to bits.
Forgetting the ways on how to get it all back together, knowing that you can't because something is missing.
What's missing?
A big part of you.
Love makes you cringe in pain, with the fact that he left you broken.
But still, you love him.
Ask me if I feel the pain, I'd answer you with,
"No, not at all. . ."
It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses.
You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. . .
You give them a piece of you. They don't ask for it.
They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like "maybe we should just be friends" or "how very perceptive" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts.
Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind.
It's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
Nothing should be able to do that.
Especially not love. . .
i finally got to meet YELLE and MALOU last night.[; those girls are freakin crazy! 2 hours of being with them felt like doin a workout for a week! god!
ok, ok. Pangga had a fashion show last night and we went to surprise her.[; i picked up Trinsy and Yelle over at Mcdo Taft then went straight to UST. (forgive my AC, its busted. haha!)
here are some of the pix. [;
:: with my ladies ::
:: from Trinsy's fone ::
ONE MORE THING, ME AND PIGGY JUST HAD OUR ANNIVERSARY. [; GOD, I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD LAST THIS LONG WITH SOMEONE. HAHA!
just msg me for details.[;
just so you thought things are quite going your way, something eerie, almost deafening fucked your day.
we spent the whole day at the US Embassy today, started at 6am and ended past 3. man, that was the most boring and nerve wracking hours i had experienced. no cellphones or ipod to help you get by. thank god i brought my cosmo novel and pugad baboy. hahai. although reading it over and over again nauseated me, atleast, it saved us from boredom. *amen to t.sering and pol medina for that*
the consul was a bit discreet on asking questions, plus, he was not, in my opinion, the most friendliest man in the building. baaaah. after submitting all the remaining requirements, having my brother interviewed again and again, being scratched off from the list and rewriting his name again, after a series of thumb screening, with all our hopes up, praying that he would be able to go with us, the consul said something that my brain didn't quite process well, *talking to my father* "blah blah..unfortunately, i regret to inform you that Mark Shan's papers cannot be processed anymore, he's not eligible for the petition your mother sent you. he can't go with you to the US. I'm very sorry. blah blah.." well atleast he was symphatizing, i think. i felt my heart crushed to bits. literally. i was fighting my tears from falling down my face. god, it wouldn't be much of a show if i started bawling in a room full of immigrant hopefuls. as we sat in the waiting room, my father and sister started to kid my brother, y'know, just to shake it all off, as i noticed my mom secretly wiping tears off from her eyes. the sight of her didn't help much with my fight, i lost, i cried. i did. just the thought of leaving without my brother swallowed me whole. it's crazy.
i love my brother, i love my kuya mark. he'll always be the one who'll shut off my hormone raging suitors and tell them to prioritize school first before getting into relationships, he'll always be the one scolding me if i'm home late, he'll always be the one covering me up for my 'rents, he'll always be the one bossing me around *i get to do it too*, he'll always be the one me and my little sister's companion whether in laughter or tears, he'll always be the stinky one hugging you after going to the gym or playing basketball, he'll always be the one giving me free cd's and credits, he'll always be the one standing up as a paternal figure when my papi's not around, he'll always be the one whom i'm gonna have petty arguments for the rest of my life, and list goes on.
i'm getting too sappy about this, forgive me.
i love you kuya.
i made these for my pangga and for my hot geeky retard twin.
and for the others who have nothing else to do but deceive people, here's something for you:
i read something, well its actually my horoscope. just want to share it with you all.
quite nice huh?
bitch slayer
haha! i don't know what to say. she get to show off her skin, but couldn't take a shot of her face.[;
aryt, let me do this.
i have a life outside myspace, just like everybody else. it has been my output for all my stressors, doing layouts, exchanging comments and knowing rad people have been in my system for the past years. i never thought it would be this gruesome signing up for a networking site.
i'm up for meeting friends, real ones. i'm not into bickerings anymore, seriously, i'm way to grown up for that. (i think.) i don't want to argue with anyone and i don't want to stoop down to such a low life pathetic level, but i do stand up for my friends.
to anyone who would think of me in such a bad way, go on. i'm not gonna stop you from hating me, coz i don't really give a damn about it. i have a lot of better things to do than bicker with you.
AND FOR THE RECORD, I AM REAL. I DON'T PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE WHO I'M NOT JUST TO GAIN FRIENDS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
please stop screwing my life, i really don't need it from someone like you.[;
i had sooo much fun! so much fun, i even lost my voice! haha! (yes, i'm ngongo, still. and paos pa ko. hmpf.)
ok, ok. here are some details of what happened.
i picked up Pamskie over at sm fairview. i had a hard time finding a space so i kept on driving around the mall until the biolink queen was done with her food. (yes pamskie, ima call you BIOLINK QUEEN from now on.[;) went to eastwood, stroll around the mall and got crazy over beauty bar. sigh. then we went to mac's condo to just check the place out and guess who we saw?
yes, the gorgeous CORAZON walking in with her fone on the other hand and the other one at her head. parang bang natalo sa kung saan. haha! Pam was like, "Mac, is that you?" corazon's reaction was funny. haha! i love you mac!
then we went to see DARSKIE at mcdo. that lil princess is BEAUTIFUL. she is. really. omg, at 15 she looks like that na, what more if she turns my age na? grr. haha!
then ROCKSTAR ABBI came, with her endless soties and funny antics. i soo love her too! (i was touched by your gift abbi. thanks so much. bawi ako next time. muah!) and yes, i love it when you call me brae. [;
next one who came was AIYING. omg this lady's one hell of a retard. haha! CHUIDIAN, please don't leave na. please. please. or see me before you go. please. please. >.<>
then KRISKA came in with Mac. kriska, babe, i soo missed you! you're gorgeous and you're CRAZY. CRAZY. CRAZY. yes, you are. haha!
we had picture galore with the coconut trees and the fountain. argh. i had a hard time breathing coz everyone's was so funny.[; posing for the cam, not minding the other people. so what right? haha
at last, the vain one came in the picture. MISS ANNA KATRINA, in the flesh. argh. my HOT RETARD BUDDY! i still love you even though you were late.[; you're a sweetheart, and i was really bitin last night. grr.
leaving those gorgeous ones was hard. awww. i had so much fun with them. >.<>
hey y'all. i'm just trying this out.
i had fun over the weekend. reason? err. first, school's over. that thing alone would be enough reason to be happy. but not really, i have like a lot of crapworks to pass, and i haven't even started doin it. argh.
second, we had a class swimming party last sunday (yes, swimming, at this kind of weather. haha!) over at villa celedonia. a resort wherein you could die on your way there. pretty scary but beautiful place. we got drunk. uber fun.
third, i spent the next day over at my bf's house at pasig. we pretty much slept the whole day, he came along at the swimming.[; i just love him so much. and oh, it's our 10th month today. (10 months baby, and still counting.) i just got home yesterday. love it.
some things makes me sad too.
[+] i miss my ma&papi. they're over at bora. haaai. so that makes us parents-less. they're comin home on thursday. yey!
[+] i'm sick. and so is my baby. i hate it. stupid swimming thingie. haha!
what else? i'm meeting up the girls tomorrow. and i'm soo excited! i have to be well tom. (God, please!) i'll see pammy, mac, darskie, trinsy, kriska, and abbi. i don't know who else is comin, but i'm excited. haha! i'll be drivin over at mac's place. but i won't be stayin for the night. argh. bummer.
oh well, so much for trying this thing out. haha! ta ta!
journalism 
I once drank a stale milk out of the carton.