I can't think of a title,
So, screw it.
9:31p
Tomorrow would be my first class of the week. Review class last Sunday got cancelled, we're off from duty on Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday was supposed to be the Final Defense Day but it was moved to next week *HURRAY!*, and when I was about to head to school today, whaddyaknoooow, class was cancelled. :/
Not that I'm complaining or anything, nooooo. For it gave me extra hours regain much needed sleep, which actually didn't happen since one of my groupmates walked in at my place earlier than expected. Should I shoo him away? Nah, too rude.
So there we were, back in the room where we've been practically racking our brains just so we could figure things and come out with a good explanation on our judgment day.
Oh yea, I'm still talking about our thesishit. :/ This thing is really taking its toll. I just can't wait for it to end.
Really.
---
American Idol is amazing. It takes someone else's blues away, like mine:) And oh boy, rejects can be really down right rude, and funny at the same time. It's scary, like funny scary.
Labo.
---
Whenever I write in cursive, I just can't write "health" without missing the "L", which I find very weird. I always end up jotting another loop just so it would read as "health" and not "heath" or "healh".
Now, where did that came from? Haha[; I finally got to start my draft on my book report on my NCM 105 subject.
Okay, boring.:)
---
I wonder how people can be really rude to a person who has done nothing but good to them. I mean, come oooooon! Do you really have to be in a group just so you could take down one person? Why? Can you please enlighten me? Oooh snap, because you can't do it on your own, right?
Stop the ass kissing, asswipes. It's such a lame game that only lame people play. You all better have a good explanation when I see you, fcukers. I bet you all have soooo many things to say:)
Ooh, I love sweet revenge:)
I'm such a meanie. Love it!
Oopsie.
---
"Look! I'm wearing a bra!"
I'm coming out of my cage,
And I've been doing just fine.
9:38a
What do you do when you're starting to zone out on your review class? Photobooth!
Forgive the peace-with-my-tongue-out sign. I didn't know what had gotten into me that day.[;
Get ready for my bullets, everyone! Here goes nothing. Aim and fire, baby:)
- It's almost 10 in the morning, and here I am blogging about whatever. I should be in school with my groupmates, but yea, I'm off in a bit.
- Backstreet Boys on Magic 89.9 right now. Man, they're still on air, huh?
- Speaking of Magic, I requested a song through YM. Haha[; Cheap thrills. I miss Slick! Pooooorn King!
- I'm hungry, but too lazy to put anything in my mouth. I finished my sister's cup of lukewarm coffee, though. Coffee's like a laxative for me. Ugh :I
- The book that I told you about on my last entry? I finished it in one sitting. I didn't gave in even if my eyes were soooo droopy. Might re-read it later. Haha[;
- Baba and I are in good terms again. That break up (?) thing is over. It's all goooood:)
- Final defense is on Wednesday. Oh. My. Shit. We'll pull an all-nighter later to finish Chapters 4 and 5. Yea, bunch of procrastinators.
- I miss Bimwi. Haven't stepped on her pedals for weeks now. :(
- My Myspace page's dead. She died a natural death.
- And yea, my Facebook page as well. :I
- Social life's currently a drag. I missed a lot of birthday's, get together's, and other occassions. Few more months, my friends, and I'm all yours!
- Belated happy birthday to my gorgeous girlracer, ROWIE:) Wasn't able to go to Ascend, but I saw the photos, and you were all beautifully wasted. Haha[;
- I miss Sweets, Inay, Hun, Pangga, Baet, Exo girls, teammates, bora buds. Well, practically everyone. :(
- Have you watched the latest Coca-Cola commercial? Nice. Very nice:)
- I admire how other people can make the most of their free time, while I, on the other hand, just do random things. Like this, for example. :I
- Have you heard about the Corpus Christi? A pornographic movie that's currently being shot in U.S.A. which shows Jesus and his disciples as homosexuals.
- Oh, how about the Blowjob in a Cup? Made by a Japanese Company named Tenga. (I bet you're googling it right now. Haha!) Okaaaaay. People nowadays. Tsk O.o
- Currently jumping from Blogger to Multiply to JustJared site. A lot of anger and hatred blogs on Multiply. Oo na, galit na galit ka naaaaa! My, oh my. If only those blogs could talk, I'd be hearing puberty angst over and over again.
- Kids, stop feeling gloomy about your love life. You're what? 14, 15, 16, 17? Too young to sulk about that stuff just yet. Believe me, there's more to life than screaming your hearts out to everyone about how torn you are right now (although I do that sometimes. Haha!). The love of your life who left you, cheated on you, took you for granted and other reasons you can think of. Shake it off, kiddos! People in your age should be having fun and not moping around the house, cussing on every love song that plays on the radio. No. You should be out there having a blast while it lasts because once you step into adulthood *uh-oh* you're headed for more serious problems. And when you look back, you'll be having a fit laughing on how stupid you were back then. Heeeey, I think this goes out for me as well. Gaaaah. I FEEL SO OLD :I
- I really need to lose weight O.o
- Read the bulletin board in school last week, one post caught my attention: the itinerary dates for all graduating students. This. Is. It.
- Must get off now, it's almost 11a. Have a great week, everyone!
I wanna break free,
I wanna make it.
8:16p
There are other things worth worrying about.
[xs] I grabbed a copy of Girl Trouble by Alan Navarra earlier today. First few pages and I'm digging it already. Lotsa explicit content but down right awesome literary pieces and artworks as well.
Going back to reading now.
My head is in a cloud of rain,
And the world it seems so far away.
7:32p
People often commit mistakes without them knowing. Things can't be perfect. It just can't be. And I'm sorry that I can't be one, because apparently, perfect is the very last thing you can think of to describe me.
I've been through a lot of emotions my whole life, throw me a line, and I'd be willing to answer you back with my experiences full with witty remarks. I'd mask the hurtful feelings with smiles and laughter, and to be honest, I think I'm good at it. But then, there are times wherein I'd rather let the tears do the talking, you just can't hide your emotions all the time, you know?
Okay, I'm getting all dramatic with no certain reason, and yea, it's getting nowhere. I'm in dire need of something, and I just can't fuckin put my finger on what it is.
I'm sick of having this kind of feeling.
---
Everyone's been talking about Heath Ledger's death. Everyone.
So, I'll just let them do the talking.
Bless your soul, Mr. Ledger.
---
I caught "She's The Man" flick on Starworld earlier today. And maaaaan, Channing Tatum is hot. Tss.
Okay, that was lame.
But you know what's lame-r??
Me. Haha[;
Yea, that was really lame. Posting this now.
[xs] I really don't like you right now. And I hate on how I dwell too much on this crap. Trust issue is a big thing for me, yenno?
[xxs] One month is all it takes. One fuckin month.
With every kiss and every hug,
You make me fall in love.
9:47p
"Just when I thought that I have my life back on track, voila, someone gave me a hard push that made me trip and fall."
That's what happened to me earlier today. Not literally, though, but something like it.
Mamers: "Dumating na daw papers mo. January 2010 nakalagay."
Me: "Okaaaaaaay."
Mamers: "Pero alis tayo ng mga August next year."
Me: O.o
Felt like I was splashed with freakin' cold water all over. Big time, fcuker.
So, that's it for me. I have a deadline. Fcukin deadline. As much as I wanted to stay, I know I can't. And that's fcukin reality kicking my ass right now.
To add more injury on that one, I heard that the BSN batch 2008's on hold for taking the Nursing Licensure Exam on June, they're moving us on November instead. Soooooo, when Mamers heard about it, she instantly told me to take the state board soon after I graduate. Okaaaay.
State board + Me = planebacktocaliforniaforgood.
NOOOOOOOO! =/
[xs] Should I start my countdown now? Naaaaah. Let the good times roll, baby!
[xxs] Thanks for coming over, Baba. Thank you for pushing the cart at the grocery earlier, and loading all those stuff into my car, for listening while I read our horoscopes and reacting on things that hits your ego, for giving Mamers a high five (imagine my Mom giving high five's!), and of course, thank you for the love that I'm feeling right now. Mushy shit. Haha[; I haven't told you about that deadline yet, but you're coming over tomorrow so I should stop typing now.
Yea.
Then we'll be perfect for each other,
And we'll never find another.
8:15p
I'm loving Colbie Caillat's songs lately. They're just oh-so-laid-back kind of tunes. Very, very relaxing :)
---
I was able to hear the mass yesterday with Baba. Yea, I didn't attend my Sunday review, so you, my dear sister, I know you're gonna read this. Hush. haha[; Ate needs a break, right? Cake, ice cream, whatever you want, name it, my treat. Haha[;
So yea, I haven't heard mass since forever, I think. I'm not really the type who goes to church every Sunday, except when Pop's here. So yea, I didn't know what happened, I guess it was what they call 'divine intervention' or whatever it is. For what? I don't really know. I just felt oh-so-good at that moment. I would've cried right then and there, but yea, I'd look like a fool bawling over nothing in the middle of the sermon. Maybe because I was with him at that moment, I know it sounds cheesy, you might've thrown up a bit there, but it's the truth. Things are way better now, and I'm just really, really happy about it.
And then things gets crappy.
I'm totally kidding. Haha[;
Note to self: Get over with those damn issues.
Gramps here who was seated beside our pew caught my attention. See that worn out/faded pink chucks? Must be his favorites. Can't blame him, I've the same pair - gotta love it. Pink power, Gramps!
---
My hell month's here. Or is it gonna be months? Either way, it's freakin' HELL.
Organizing a seminar is craaaaazy, man. Tsk tsk. Or was it because we just started finalizing things a week (more like 3 days) before the target date? Haha[; Everyone was frantically going nuts few minutes before the seminar started. My laptop even died few minutes after. DISASTER. Thank God for our speaker's witty remarks, kept the crowd laughing:)
It was fun and down right tiring at the same time. Minor flaws, but that was it, we nailed this one haaaaard!
Shake and bake, baaaaaaby!
---
I could've finished this entry earlier if YOU would just stop doodling on my YM. Then, I could've slept for a few minutes just so I could stay up all night later for a cramming session with my groupmates. But I miss and love you, so yea, I'll talk to you later. Okay, that was random. Another sleepless night dedicated for our thesis, which is by the way due sometime this week. And I have no idea on the exact date. Man, talk about major procrastination.
No class tomorrow, yay!
---
I survived our first junior-clinical-instructor thing today. We handled a handful of third year students all day. But yea, I won't bore you with details.
Wednesday will be shitty, for sure. We'll be dealing with community and sophie's. I hate community. I hate those sophie's. One wrong move and you're all dead meat. *evil laugh*
Forgive the cussing and the angst. It's the pressure, I guess.
And what's this crap about the PRC moving the local boards on November instead of the usual June-December testing dates? Is it for real? For those who know, or at least have the idea on what's going on, enlighten me please. I'm too bushed to care right now but it'll probably be absorbed by my good-for-nothing brain cells tomorrow. (I'm kidding, my dear brain cells. You know I love you, right? I'd be nothing without you. Like LITERALLY nothing without you.)
Wait, did I just address that line TO my brain cells?
Damn, I'm losing it.
Whatever. I'm sleepy.
You are like the raindrops,
the raindrops falling down on me.
9:29p
"The phoenix hope, can wing her way through the desert skies, and still defying fortune's spite; revive from ashes and rise."
- Miguel de Cervates Saavedra
"You were the only one who gave me genuine happiness, the only one who didn’t have to give any effort to make me smile that would last for hours and hours, days, months. When I found out that you were sick during my 4th month, half of me died already, but half of me hold on to my faith that God will work His miraculous ways to save you and heal you. I tried to be positive because I know my emotions were connected to yours as well. I wanted us to fight and hold on."
I wanted us to fight and hold on.
I've witnessed a couple of deliveries already, and like what I've said on my previous entries, it's such a high having to see one. It's so surreal that you wouldn't even know what type of emotion to exert when you get to see the baby. Dumbfounded - that's what I end up most of the time.
"They let me hold you for a while, sadly, I wasn’t able to see you completely because you have a wounded torso and youre full of blood, and I was lying down when they put you on top of me. I couldn’t even lift up my hands to touch you because I was in shock and numb from the drugs. I saw part of you, and all I can say is that I’ve never seen anyone so pristine, so beautiful, so peaceful, yet so lifeless. The agony and the beauty of that moment were so sorrowfully blurred with each other."
Dumbfounded. That was what I felt after reading her entry.
She's always been the adventurous one, always on the go, que sera sera type of person. A goody rebel kind of daughter, loving sister, trusty friend, and a badass little sister to me. I admire her daring takes on life. And yea, her tattoos.[; (I wanted to have a star tat like hers, just never had the guts to do so).
It was a shock when I learned about the baby, really. I didn't know about her.
I didn't know.
How was I suppose to know when I decline all the time whenever she ask me out? All the time, I decline.
And I'm sorry. I really am. I wasn't there. I was suppose to be there, but I wasn't.
My baby Sienna Phoenix,
I love you my baby, and you will never be forgotten. Thank you for coming into my life and you will always be in my life. You changed me a lot and I will forever be grateful to you.
You are now my angel, and I know you’re just somewhere around me taking care of me and guiding me continuously.
I hope you’ll visit me soon in my dreams so I can finally carry you in my arms and talk to you and sing you songs and give you little kisses and warm hugs.
I’ll wait.
Love,
Mommy
It's hard to deal with real life situations nowadays. Much more when it happens to someone who's dear to you.
In my line of career, things like this happens all the time and I'm pretty much aware of the gunshot of emotions that fills the mother when her precious one dies.
It's devastating.
It's scary.
And it's downright heartbreaking.
She's in a better place now.
Be strong, Bebe. I love you always.
Cuz I'm walkin down this road alone
and figured all I'm thinking bout is you, is you my love
And my head is in a cloud of rain and the world it seems so far away
and I'm just waiting to fall and sink into your tears
You are like the raindrops,
the raindrops falling down on me.
- Droplets
I'm looking for someone to share my pain
Someone who I can run to, who would stay with me when it rains.
10:26p
5th of January. Saturday night.
And I'm all alone. Well, not alone-alone. I have the helpers and Mimay with me, yea. Fam's not here, though. Mamers' back in Bora earlier, my brother's at his wife's crib, and my sister's staying at her friend's house.
Wow.
---
How was your new year's eve, people? Fireworks were awesome this year. People who lives on my street are pretty much on those things so they tend to have a blast (literally) on new year's eve every year. Pretty, pretty sight[; We just had a simple media (or medya?) noche , and just stayed outside until 3am.
And yea, I just settled for lusis. Haha>.<
---
The Ericson's flew all the way from Cali yesterday. Picked them up from the airport around 7am, had breakfast at Mcdee's, and headed home to rest. Then went out in the afternoon to let Kayla experience ice skating. It was her first time and she really had a blast. I won't go into details, I know that it'll just bore you. [;Just like what I said earlier, they left for the island around 4pm. Tsk. If school's not starting on Monday, I'd be there in a jiffy. I miss the beach :(
Speaking of school, yea, mine's gonna be on Monday. I still don't have a schedule of duties for this month. But heck, seminar's on the 10th, and final defense is landing on the 3rd week of this month. And oh, exam as well. Rar.
Few more months, baby and I'm done with it!
---
Okay, will end this now.
This is too cute not to post [;
First post of the year, y'all!
journalism 
I once drank a stale milk out of the carton.