.

fire to the rain

2012-01-31T21:59:00.000-08:00

I've been wanting to get a lomo cam for a while. And lo and behold, I finally cave in to this sweet lil' one, Holga 135. I got it at Urban Outfitters in Union Square, SF. I also got 2 boxes of 3 rolls colored films. Honestly, I'm not really sure how it will turn out, but as the Lomography tag goes, "Don't think, just shoot." Or something like that. :)

Anyone here who got addicted to online shopping, please raise your right hand. *raising both hands*

Yes, you read it right. I had this phase of addiction to online shopping last year. Good thing I was able to get out of my system! I'm still slipping sometimes, but not as bad as I used to. Latest purchase: Holga's split image filter set, lens holder, and that cute purple flash with filters.

My soundtrack for my February getaway.

My co-worker and I had a little roadtrip to Brentwood, CA last week and look what we saw!

I was in complete awe while driving! It was like an unending sea of big fans for a mile or two!

I called off at work today cause I'm dying with my sickness. I'm coughing like crazy, and my head spins way too much. So I'm staying at home, wrapped in a blanket, and watching movies all day. Anyways, Brandy's in town for the week, and she dropped this off at my place earlier. Another kitty addition! :)

That's all for now. New Girl is on telly. I missed this show. Eversince we switched to AT&T U-Verse, my shows were gone. I don't know how to record and set alarm for it which screws everything up. Oh, well.

Isn't she lovely?

2012-01-19T18:10:00.000-08:00

Random #2 : Baby Girl
I have yet to meet you, but I love you already :) I'll see you this February!

Random

2012-01-18T20:32:00.000-08:00

"2011, thank you for being such a sweetheart and a bitch at the same time. I learned a lot from you. You made me even more stronger, and I owe that to all the crap you put me through. Just kidding! :) Thank you for all the wonderful people in my life and the genuine friendship I have with them, the residents that always makes my day with a simple smile on their faces (even if they test my patience a lot), for my crazy family who are the very core of my existence, and to the love of my life, who, despite the distance, never gave up on this crazy love affair of ours.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

2012, I'm ready for you! :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! :)"

Okay, so that was my end-of-the-year post on Facebook. (I couldn't figure out how to start this one out, so there.) It's 2012 already! I need to liven up my blog before the world ends! (insert cricket sound here.) Okay, okay. My attempt on making this entry look cool stinks. BIG TIME.

Oh, well. RANDOM POSTS!

Random #1 : Let the memories begin!

A little birthday getaway trip to Anaheim & LA

veintiséis

2011-12-05T17:27:00.000-08:00

It feels weird uttering "Thank you!" to all the greetings that I've been receiving from my friends back home. It's 5:03 PM right now, and yes, 5th of December.

I still have 7 more hours to cherish my quarter-of-a-life age before I say my bittersweet hello to the next one: number 26.

Last year, I went home to celebrate my birthday with family and friends after being away for a year. It was down right the best 2 weeks of my 2010. Amazing getaway to end my year.

As for this year, I will be on a roadtrip with my girls to the happiest place on earth. We'll see how that one goes. :)

I put up a status on my Facebook last week saying, "GOAL: Tattoo before my 26th." I really wanted to have one, and this was just a cover up to boost my confidence to walk into a tattoo shop and have myself inked. FOR THE FIRST TIME. So, there I was on the 3rd of December at Inkies here in my city, spoke with one of the artist of what design I wanted, and after an hour of wait, he called me and said, "Are you ready?" Putting up my brave (poker) face, I took a deep breathe and mumbled, "Yes."

That was it. No turning back.

I sat there and rested my arm as he starts operating his magical pen (magical pen?? Haha I don't know what it's called!) A couple more deep breathes, lip biting, squirming. A few minutes after, it's done.
Here's how it looks:

Admirandum et inspirant

12.03.11

Paulo "Coach"Luis

Inkies Tattoo

I love it. And I want more.

Most of my friends said that tattoo is addicting. I guess it's true, because the moment that this was done, I have more designs lingering in my head for my next one.

Uh oh.

bloggie DUO

2011-11-05T12:24:00.000-07:00

The boyfriend and I had a talk the other day about taking videos on my next trip back home (where he spilled some surprise plans he had in mind. FAIL.) I saw one brand before at Costco which cost around $99, but forgot about it. Typical me. But as I was browsing around the net, I this one - Bloggie Duo HD Camera $139 (on sale right now at Sonystyle.com) Fry's has more cheaper brands, not sure about the quality, but meh, you can get one for roughly 30 bucks. What a saver. Buuut, I still have 2 more months to go and look for a good camcorder, so yea. :)

Will just put this link here, cause I have a girl-crush on MICH :) Check out their site and videos, they're both entertaining :)
http://www.facebook.com/ilovejamich

Pink Power

2011-10-19T20:10:00.000-07:00

Breast Cancer awareness "Inspired" band

Chico, CA

I saw her for the first time today after hearing the news weeks ago. I was doing my thing at the station and when I looked up, there she was walking nonchalantly with her scarf wrapped around her head. (And truth be told, she was rocking that scarf!) I got up and hugged her tight. Fighting my tears 'cause I don't want to make a scene, I let go and saw her teary eyed. I told her to stop, and she snapped back at me with, "You started it!" and then laughed. It was nice seeing her smile despite the tragic news. She embraced it wholeheartedly. She's a strong woman, and I know she'll get through this.

Trio in Chico

2011-10-18T15:49:00.000-07:00

Left Monday night for a 3-hour roadtrip to Chico, CA. A little getaway with a friend plus important itineraries: hospital interview, visit a friend, and nursing school open house.

Heading to downtown Chico

Smokin' Mo's

Old school rootbeer float

Ribs, pulled pork, muffins, beans

Brandy's bare apartment

Youngsters

My giveaway gift

We saw a lot of this

and this

And we had a little stopover at Cache Creek in Modesto, CA (where I won few hundred bucks on a penny slot)

It was a good trip, a good getaway from all the drama. Speaking of drama, I just got the news that I didn't get the job I was hoping for. Oh, well. At least it was a good trip.

Now. pardon me while I go back to my dramas.

Fast drive

2011-09-06T20:59:00.000-07:00

Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk will always be one of my favorite spots. Beach + Rides + Awesome fun, how could you go wrong with that?

Pulled off a fast drive to Santa Cruz with the girls after Sunday work. No traffic on the way, but parking was a pain in the ass. The boardwalk was crazy packed since it was the long Labor Day weekend.

Off to Santa Cruz

Giant Dipper

First ride

Double Shot

Freezing our butts off

This was the ultimate shocker for me, Fire Ball.

I miss the beach.
Beach, beach, beach.

SFO duo

2011-08-03T13:10:00.000-07:00

Met up with Beth after work last July 21 at San Mateo, CA. We've been trying to meet up whenever she's scheduled to fly to SFO, and we finally did! Will see her again on the 22nd of August :)

Pride & Happiness

2011-08-02T15:01:00.000-07:00

SFO AIDS Walk 2011 was held last July 17 at the Golden Gate Park, and I am proud to be a part of it. It was a 10km walk with thousands of good hearted people who shared their time for this awesome cause.

wish granted

2010-12-08T15:45:00.001-08:00

ENJOYING PILIPINAS :)

October update.

2010-11-04T16:49:00.000-07:00

Soooo, I haven't really been updating lately. Mostly because I'm yearning for my bed whenever I go home and talk to my boyfriend 'til all he hears is my snore. Haha :)

What's new? Hmmm.. I've been working for 2 months now in a SNF in San Jose area. A little different environment than the usual hospital setting that I've got used to back in the PHL. Adjusting wasn't really that hard, but sometimes it can be too overwhelming. Residents' can be frustrating as well, and rewarding at the same time. You wouldn't really get to understand what I'm saying unless you're a nurse. Wait, that sounded too arrogant. But, yes, with every profession that there is, there's this frustration vs rewarding thing going on. Like for us nurses, we get kicked, spit at, punched, shoved, yelled at, cursed, etc. But on good days, we get sweet little comments from our patients that makes our horrible experience turn into a heartwarming one.

Anyways, after mentioning that "rewarding" thing, here are little rewards that I got since I started working:

Vaio EB Series 14" in Blue

Blackberry 9700 Bold

Cosmetics.

And a whole lot of stuff from these bags :)

Also, my boyfriend and I celebrated our 2nd year anniversary last October 27-28, 2010 :) I haven't blogged on how we ended up having 2days for our date. But it's a cute story. I'll write another entry for that one :)

He made this one. I was getting ready for work that morning when he told me to check it our first. He rarely does things like this one, so yes, it's a pretty big deal for me XD I'm still waiting for our gift, though. No package from the mail yet. Hmmmm..

Well, that would probably be it for now. November is here already. Few more weeks until my 25th year!

kind of awesome

2010-09-23T23:45:00.000-07:00

I just got my first paycheck today. Well, not really the first one (I got my check for less than $200 when I worked for the red star store for two weeks back in November) but no, that doesn't count. So, yes. My first paycheck. A REAL ONE.

When I got my license last July, I immediately went on a hospital/healthcare center spree. Armed with my resumes and GPS in the car, I'm good to go. I've lost count on how many application forms I've filled up, gas stations I've refueled at, people I shook hands with, phone calls for interviews, disappointing results (a lot, actually). It was tiring and fun at the same time. It's like a treasure hunt game, only, I always end up empty handed when the day ends.

With the turn of events in the economy of this country, plus the fact that there are a whole lot of nurses out there who are doing the exact same thing as I am, I already knew that this is going to be a tough one. I may be disheartened by the end of the day, but tomorrow's a different one. There's always a possibility of a bigger opportunity on the next day.

My opportunity came in this month. All those driving paid off because I'm now a part of the healthcare team working as a charge nurse. Um-um, that felt good.

Also, I got a call this evening for an interview tomorrow in one of those facilities I went to last month. Bigger opportunities? I'm crossing my fingers on that one :)

AM PM OFF

2010-07-21T02:08:00.000-07:00

Medication cards - cut up pieces of cartolina paper (of different colors) where information of the patients' medications are written. (Well, that's how we do it on the hospital I've worked for a year ago.) Yes, it was meant for medications, but it served a different purpose for me.

It's funny how a little scribble on that paper could lead into a habit. The thing I look forward to do whenever a new schedule's out for the next cut off (usually from the 11th-25th and 26th-10th of the month). I'd scribble my schedule just so I wouldn't wind up coming in to work when I'm not supposed to, or miss a duty when I should be working. You get the drill. Haha:)

I saw this one earlier today in one of my purses, and it made me smile upon seeing it. Ahh, memories. This happened to be my schedule when the H1N1 news got out, and I had to be transferred at the General Ward for a few days. Yes, I have a very keen memory of unnecessary informations. And I also seem to have the habit of keeping unnecessary stuff as well for I've managed to save some of these cut outs throughout my stay in that hospital.

There would always be one schedule written on that little piece of paper - MINE. I'd write the date and the corresponding schedule next to it: A (am) P (pm) X (off). And then I got to know him, a slight addition was made. Two schedules, two medication cards. It was much easier looking at it than to ask him for his shift all the time. Whenever the new schedule's out, I'd go to his area to copy his shifts and compare it to mine. There would only be two reactions: Good - a lot of same shifts/off (means more time with each other) and Bad - do I even have to elaborate on this one?

All of these little cards were kept on the little box I gave him the night before I left. He was even surprised that I compiled those little trinkets of memories (yes, I told you about my habit already). I asked him to take a photo of one card where we had most of the same shift together, and of all that cards that he can pick, he sent me this one.

This was last schedule at the hospital (see, keen memory of unnecessary information), that's why we had a lot of same shifts/off together. Dates on the far left, encircled T and S at the top, corresponding shifts, and those little marks on the right - my scribbles on that little piece of paper.

I miss handing him his own copy whenever a new schedule is out. That smile on my face knowing that we'd go to work together, end up having dinner/breakfast afterwards, and see each other again later. As much as it saddens me, I know I'd be able to do this again soon. There will be no little marks this time, I know, but just the thought of having schedules together on that little piece of paper is enough for me to continue our own little thing that I got used to. :)

Little did I know that this routine would become one of our little stories to share. :)

(Thanks for the photos, Bru. Mwah!)

Of love and whatnot.

2010-07-17T00:56:00.000-07:00

Note: This is a random entry. Read at your own risk. (or maybe if you're just bored, that'll do too)

I am no genius when it comes to relationships. (Believe me, I've had waaay too many booboo's when it comes to the matters of the heart.) No one is, I think. Each and everyone of us gets caught up at some point in our lives with all the crap that comes with our own love situations.

Tangled. Lost. Confused.

We all have our own love story to tell to anyone (especially after chugging down bottles of beer or shots of tequila). Age isn't even a factor anymore in this lifetime for I recently saw a video of a 4-year old girl crying over her teacher. A four year old! Can you believe that? Apparently, she loves him so much that she doesn't want to move to Japan with her parents. Have you seen that one? The way she cried was oh-so-genuine. Yes, even at that age, heartbreak can be such a bitch.

If that little girl bawled her eyes out for someone who's not even her age, and I assume that she doesn't even know what the term "love" is (Well, if course she doesn't. She's only 4!), you can only imagine the heartbreak adult people go through. Real love, that's what I'm talking about.

Do you remember your first heartbreak when you were younger? You'd probably be laughing right now just by thinking about it. Those teeny tiny baby steps that your little fragile heart and immature mind took back then. Swearing off to everyone that you'll never fall for the wrong guy ever again. (But who are we to know on who's wrong or right, right?) Those late night crying over silly love songs, letters, text messages. Ahh, memories. Silly little memories.

But when you get older, now that's a different story. You cannot just laugh it off and pretend it's okay. (Are you nuts? Of course it's not okay!) Although we all have our own different ways of coping, and denial is always the first on the list (mine was eating and sleeping - A LOT), you can never really deceit yourself with happy thoughts at this point. Who the hell are you kidding?

Fast forward.

I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. Some would argue that you should make life happen if you want something. Well, whatever the case may be, it all ends up with what we really want in life - Happiness and Contentment.

And yes, someone to share it with.

Heartbreaks may have turned your heart jaded, but truth be told, you'll always long for that one person who you can be silly with at the end of the day. (I would've written "the one who completes you" but it sounded waaaay too cheesy.) Lucky are those who haven't experienced major set backs with their own love story. People can be really fortunate like that, and some are..well, let's just say that love doesn't go easy on them.

Ecstatic. Pleased. Content.

The status I posted long time ago read: "Most friends got married, and are getting married soon. Some gave birth and/or have little ones already." I feel excited whenever I hear news about babies and weddings. Seriously, who wouldn't? Oh, the joy it brings. I am in my mid-20's and talking about this doesn't make me cringe like it used to back when I was younger. Yes, your perception in life really do change when you get older. (Wait, did I just say that I'm old? DENIAL - check!)

This has, by far, the most stable and longest relationship I've ever had. Unfortunately, I had to leave my other half back home when I took that one-way trip ticket back here in California 9 months ago. I know a lot of you may relate with my situation. Yes, the grueling long distance relationship.

I've been asked by friends on what LDR is like and how I cope up with it. "MAHIRAP!" - that would be the typical answer they'd get from me. It's a lot harder than what you think, seriously. Especially for those who are such a clingy-type-of-a-girlfriend aka ME. Haha :) I took Adjustment101 for the first few months, and I barely passed. Emotions gets in the way which resulted into fights and further leads to silent war for days. And that's what I'm not used to, having fights. We don't fight. That's not us. We may end up having an argument at times before, but we usually resolve it at the of the day (or the next). So after breaking the habit of fighting (haha!), we ended up laying down our own terms so that this relationship would work out. That's what we wanted in the first place, to make this one work, to simply make it last.

A lot of factors may have affected us, but we managed to sail through the tough waves. Luckily, we finally found the calm part of the water where we can just chill and enjoy. Although we'd crash on some little waves, it doesn't really bother us as much as the previous big ones anymore.

So for those who are happily committed (long distance or not), keep it up. Now that you've finally found that one person who genuinely makes you happy, never let go of that smile. I'm going to quote Mac MacGuff from Juno: "Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."

And as for those who are single, don't fret. You're fortunate enough to be spared from petty fights, sms wars, and lame arguments. Just kidding! :) Go out and have fun, you might bump into him/her soon. You'll never know, right? :)

"The person meant for you is the person who will stay even when there is no more reason to love you. For in your nothingness.. that person will find reasons, enough to love you still."

*as I've said up there, this was a random entry. So pardon the cluttered concept. :)

On what's next.

2010-07-15T20:17:00.000-07:00

I finally made it through the NCLEX!

Yes, after months of waiting for my school documents, registering for the exam, and those grueling nights studying everything - I finally nailed it.

I'm a Registered Nurse once again :)

Few snapshots to liven up this entry:

I'd be at the Bart Station around 5pm so I could be at Kaplan Berkeley for my 6pm class.

The unending questions and rationales

This is where I took my exam in Oakland.

(This was also the day when the Bart trial verdict came out)

Step 1: Apply & register for NCLEX - check!

Step 2: Pass the exam - check!

Step 3: Well, um.. hmmmm.. I'm still trying to figure out what to do next.

Yes, I'm currently stuck in Step 3. Well, I've signed up for a BLS (Basic Life Support) class this coming week, so that's another move made. Then what? I've no idea. I'm taking these teeny tiny baby steps right now. The scarcity of nursing jobs here in California adds up to my dilemma as well.

Ahhhh. I'll wrap this up. I've got resumes to pass online. I NEED A JOB! :)

DIY: blog site

2010-06-09T00:18:00.000-07:00

Okay.

So I managed to revamp my page the whole day today. I was busy figuring out the html codes while the boyfriend watches the game. 2-1 by the way, in favor of LAL. There he was shooting his fist in the air, while I scratch my head with confusion. Ahhhh, Life. Haha :)

Now I have a big issue right here.

See the image? The left one's the preview (when you edit the template) and the other one's on a different browser. Same site, different font size :( I went through the codes over and over again to correct it, but it kept on showing the same thing in the end.

I'll figure this out some other time. If you'd like to help, (I beg you) please do leave a message down there :)

U-TURN

2010-06-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

I've tried. Really. I did.

I don't think I can really give up this site. I tried diverting to the new one, but writing on an empty site doesn't feel right. Even the site gives me an odd feeling. Like my entries do not belong there.

Morningmonster was the one who started it all; from the lamest post, to the most meaningful ones. I remember racking my brains out just to come up with an entry, and then I realized the power of spontaneity. And yes, great ideas comes in the most unexpected time. See that? I don't know where that came from.

What I'm trying to say is that I headed straight, made a left and ended up lost. And now I'm making a u-turn to head back where I came from.

I'm home :)

02.16.09

2010-02-20T18:27:00.000-08:00

Pardon the pretty late post :)

No-stalgia.

2010-02-10T00:32:00.000-08:00

I had no idea that I came up with those numbers of post (there, on that side -->) for the past erhhm.. 5 years. Notice that on 2009 I had only 8 posts? Hmmm.. And why is that, you may ask. Or not. The lack of interest? Maybe. No more brainspits? Not even a fart? I guess so.

Well, whatever the reason behind that absence must have been a great one. For I remember coming home with a great entry in my head, waiting for those brainjuice to ooze out forming paragraphs. It must have been a great year.

And yes, it was one of the best year so far, 2009 :)

So, looking at those statistics of my entries, the forgotten memories came alive as I back read those pages. Wow. I was all, "I wrote that?", "Really?", "Oh, yea! I remember that!" Maaaan, talk about freakin nostalgia! There were good and bad and really great ones. School, old love, friends and family. All there..stored in that minute space in the cyberworld.

I checked out the links as well. Some of them gone, some abandoned, and some are still up and running. It's like having a great reunion with old friends. Well, not really, but most likely.

I may not have some of that brainfarts right now, but hey, maybe in these coming days? Just wait up, and you'll see.

Welcome me back, my dear blogger :)

Reunited

2010-02-08T20:57:00.000-08:00

Wow.

Okay. It has been months since I last opened my blogger account, and maaaaaan, a lot has changed! While checking for some new templates (my site needs a new one, badly), I stumbled upon this site. I didn't know that blogger changed its layout settings. You didn't have to go through the hustles of knowing html stuff. Or maybe I was just into the old thing that I never get to check it out when it came out. It's much easier, methinks. So forgive the empty layout as of now, I still have to work on it these coming days :)

I joined this bandwagon, thinking about making it as the regular brainfart outlet. BUT BUt but, all I did was reblog. I cannot help but do that on that site, pretty much all the entries were. So, Blogger may have taken the back seat for a while, but now it's back.

I think.

And I'll try to keep these brainfarts coming.

:: 04.16 ::

2009-04-16T03:21:00.009-07:00

If you thought that this site's dead
Well, you're fcukin' wrong:)
8:42p

Finally had the time to upload last week's photos. Dami, chong!:)

How was your Holy week, guys? I spent mine at the island once again. I was with my sister's friends, Mia, and Trinsy last year, this time around, I was with a whole lot of freakin' crazyass people!

Sullano's and Lotero's were present on the trip, and my boyfriend as well. 6 solid days with them was craaaaaazy! Add up the hotness of Boracay, man, it was one unforgettable experience to date.

I'll just post some photos and updates next time:)

:: 04.05 ::

2009-04-04T20:29:00.002-07:00

Charmed.
11:39a

RANDOM:

I haven't updated this site for the longest time. Boo me.
I'm sailing pretty good at the Emergency Room department. Of course, the inevitable "tanga mode" stories kept on piling up. Haha:)
I'll keep this one short, laptop's gettin freakin' annoying. It kept on dying like every 5minutes. Gaaaah.
HITTING THE BORACAY BEACH ON THE 9TH TIL THE 12TH WITH MY FAM, ATE TINE'S FAM AND BRU :) Who's gonna be there? Let's do some cartwheels at the shore! :)

More random stories when I get back. I missed blogging!

:: 02.22 ::

2009-02-22T03:23:00.006-08:00

Oh, no more mistakes
'Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay
8:19p

I've been meaning to post an entry about a lot of things. If you can just see my account here at blogspot right now, draft entries are flooding my screen.

Boo.

Type. Erase. Edit.

Scratch that. New entry coming up in 3..2..1..

---

Soooo, the dreaded hearts day came. Yes, I've seen a lot of mushy photos and kilig moments. Ahhh, the things that love can do. Awesome, awesome:)

Since my sister's birthday falls on the hearts day itself (yes, Valentina, it is), she had a major celeb with her friends. Last birthdays can be such a drag, no? haaay. Anyways, I invited Bru and Sir David, since my favorite people were either on duty or already had plans that night.

We had the spot at the swing, and after dozens of beer rounds later, we called it a night around 2am and headed down to sleep. Basagan ang labanan. Haha:)

---

02.22

I just have to post this one:

Happy 2nd Anniversary to the Bebe's of my life:)
Lablab kayo ni Ate:)

---

This is the part when I'm supposed to heave a sigh, throw my hands in the air and say, "This is too good to be true".

Then I'll contradict myself right after, "Well, as long as I'm happy."

I am happy. Genuinely happy, to be precise. You know that feeling when you get to see fireworks in the sky? Like that firework show at the end of the Disneyland parade, yes, like that one. It's freakin beautiful. Magical, even.

I'm fumbling with words. Shows that I can't even describe how I'm feeling right now.

I'll have a separate entry for this one.

One thing's for sure, I am his and he is mine:)

:: 02.12 ::

2009-02-06T22:31:00.008-08:00

I will be all that you want, and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
07:07p

Feb's halfway through. Ang bilis. Hay.

I wanted to write about a lot of stuff, but my mind can't process my thoughts clearly.

And it shows.

I can't freakin' think of a starting line on how my days went by.

Okay, OKay, let's get this one rolling:)

The Monte Gang heads out to Ma'am Alice's place in Sta. Maria to celebrate the Feast of Immaculate Concepcion last 020409. Great food, booze, videoke, and of course, laughter filled the table. Too bad, some of the staff had to head back to the hospital for the night shift.

Highlight of the night? Well, aside from being with these awesome group of people, the one thing that struck me the most would be the fireworks. Ahh, I love fireworks:) Too bad Bru wasn't there to share that moment with me. Tsk.

This would be my third cut off at the ICU/CCU department. And I must say, I think I'm getting the hang of it. There'd be tiring days, sure, but it's worth it. The experience that I get from it is truly heartfelt. Awesome, really.

Speaking of work, I've been dragging my ass to the hospital for 6months now. Maaaan, that was a quick 6months. A lot has happened within that span of time, both good and bad. The frustrations and achievements managed to come hand in hand, which modeled my career from its rough edges to a slightly smoother one. Hey, I still have a lot to learn in this profession. Cut me some slack:)

I'd update this one soon. My brain's slowing down as of the moment. I think it has to be reformatted. Damnit. Haha:)

:: 02.02 ::

2009-02-01T19:55:00.005-08:00

You know you're my saving grace
You're everything I need and more
1:21p

Still alive.

And sane:)

Random:

a) Charade/Pinoy Henyo night - Bru picked me up from work and gave me a ride home. It was quick, he just dropped me off because he's got somewhere else to go to. But he told me he'd go back to see me before he heads home. I was dead tired from day's work and went straight to bed. Andwhadyaknoow? I fell asleep :) I woke up around 10:30p and read his messages. Good thing he was still up and been wanting to go back and see me. So there, after a few minutes, he's downstairs:) Oh, love:)

Sooo, we were talking downstairs when my sister and her bestfriend came in, and invited us to join them in their session at the court. "Daan lang tayo", that's what I told him. That "daan lang" line turns out to be a mad fun night:) They were handing out shots of drinks to everyone, played a bit of basketball, then game on. Charades and Pinoy Henyo. There were new faces, and Bru's one of them. Good thing everyone got along. Fun, fun night:)

Charades - Pinoy Henyo

b) Planned/biglaan session night at my place last Sunday. We were all boys, man. Haha:) Ballantines, Funda, Red Horse = Basagan night, it is. Kuya Den and I were on the morning shift the next day, so imagine the hardwork of getting up and going to work with a bad hangover. Tsk. But hey, we sailed thru it!

Maaaaaan, January rolled by so quick. Love month's already here! Ack!

First month of this year was pretty awesome. Again, pretty awesome, I tell you. Maybe that's why I didn't notice that its 31 days are over. Boo that. Or maybe it's just me, I've no sense of dates recently. I'd go to bed, wake up, do what I gotta do, then go back to bed again. It's pretty routinary, yes, but an awesome routine to begin with.

Oh well, let's see what's Feb's got in store for me:)

:: 01.15 ::

2009-01-14T18:38:00.002-08:00

Random post I got from multiply:)
10:35a

If you love someone, ask them for nothing.

Don't hold them back from their destiny.

Don't keep them from going off in search of their own answers.

Don't ask them for commitment.
You will know commitment is real when it is something given willingly and not as something obligatory.

Don't ask them for promises.
If you are patient, if you have faith, you will know in your heart when the right time for promises has come.

And when that time arrives,
then you will see that you have both lost nothing by setting each other free,
and have instead gained a richer, fuller life,
a wealth of experiences,
and a stronger certainty of your desires.

But should they not return to you,
then life hasn't cheated you because no promises were broken.
Your bitterness will not last long,
and you will feel thankful and blessed that at the very least,
this beautiful soul has colored your life,
that knowing them has already made life infinitely more meaningful.

By setting a person free,
you run a risk of them not returning.
But always remember that you found them beautiful precisely because they were free.
People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth, and their glow,
but you can't hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever.

People CHOOSE to stay.

But a choice is made more meaningful when it is made despite so many other options.

Love has no restrictions and it is through mistakes that sometimes we see the right answer.

Because if you love someone,
you ask them for nothing
and they will come back to you.

:: 01.13 ::

2009-01-12T17:43:00.003-08:00

Just say the words "I'll see you soon"
And I'll be waiting for you right here in this room
8:26p

I've been internet-deprived lately, so forgive me with the slight abandonment of this site:)

But since I'm back, lemme update you with what's going on with me lately.

Wait, where do I start?

Hmmm..I took my last shifts at the ward department last cut off. Yes, I got rotated. Guess where?

tantananantanaaaaan!

ICU/CCU department. The area that I dreaded the most. Well, ER department still tops my list (for some personal reasons). Just the sound of our 'rampa' thingy sends shivers down my spine. ack!

I had my first duty at my new area the other day, and maaaaan, felt like I was back to square one:( Boo that. It was confusing at first, believe me. If you're gonna leave me there alone, I'd go nuts in a matter of minutes. Or even seconds. Haha:) But things got pretty okay at the end of the day. I tagged along with my partner, Bern, who graciously and patiently showed me how things work at their department. Well, our department, that is.

Sooooo, I had minor boo-boo's on day 1, which was pretty forgivable :) Day 2 was still confusing, but I sailed thru it. And as for the rest of this cut off? Well, let's just see what happens. Big ups for the challenge. Bring it on:)

---

Things are pretty steady with the love department. I'm holding on to whatever he says, and am trying to dust off the rest of the issues. I'm too happy to think about negative thoughts this time:)

:: 01.02 ::

2009-01-01T23:39:00.011-08:00

One more night one more day
One more smile on your face
7:49p

Just got back from Bora this morning:) This might be a long-ass entry, uhm just bear with me.

That trip was good. Had fun bonding with the family and my sister's boyfriend. Downside? I ended up missing Bru so much:( Well, I got to text/talk to him so it's all good:)

We had some major issues during my stay there, but we managed to talk it out. I hope everything's perky when I get to see him again. But no doubt, we'll have a blast for sure.

Okay. Trip buzz muna.

I saw some good friends during our stay there. Earlzon checked in at our hotel with his friends. I wasn't able to bond with them when we went to BomBom because Earlzon was busy puking his guts out at the hotel. But I got to bond with them again the next night. Sex on the beach night at Paraw while playing cards (oh, yea. I almost lost my phone that night) Mad fun:) and the beach bonding, of course. Waiting for the others to upload the photos from Paraw. And yes, the cartwheel shots at the beach:)

I finally got to hang out with my sweets once again. The retard twins are soooo back! I forgot to bring my cam that night, so I'm still waiting for Trinsy to upload photos. I saw Ate Anne as well, that gorgeous bride-to-be this December:) Fun night at BomBom:)

Random photos of the beach trip:

Ye-Ching-Ralph

family

vanity :]

fave shots:)

Looking back on the year that was, 2008 was good. Really good, I tell you.
Let's hit the bullets this time:)

I managed to stay sane after graduating with a BSN degree. Who would have thought that I'd sail thru nursing school? Haha:)
Stayed at the apartment with 3 other individuals for our board review - a lot of mishaps, massages, and food trips.
The hassle that the application for the boards brought us. Man, that was almost a heartbreak.
Bonding time with the family: movies, dinners, and out-of-town trips.
Biglaan lakad with my friends. Over-coffee/dinner/movie getaways.
That mind-blowing days/hours of waiting for the results.
Depression I had when I wasn't able to get in at the company I wanted.
Well, just the depression itself.
And, of course, that mindfucking reaction I had when the results came out!
First job ever: Ward nurse at our base hospital - where I took up Adjustment 101.
A lot of boo-boo's at work. Cut me some slack, I'm a newbie:) But I eventually got the hang of it.
The breakup.
Meeting kickass people at work.
Cute guys to boot as well. Haha:)
ER nights. Well, inuman nights with the residents/nurses.
Drunken night til 5:15am:)
Traumas at ER. Ack!
CODE BLUE MISHAPS. Haha:)
Though I tried hard not to, I fell again.
The issues. Damn those issues. Haha:)
Parties. Parties. Parties:)

Well, let's just end with this survey-thing. I answered this one last year, so might as well update it this year.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you've never done before?

- drunk driving? haha:) well, there's the local boards, and a lot of new stuff that my job at the hospital offered.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
- I forgot about it the next day. haha:) This year's gon' be different, I bet.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
- Friends who gave birth to their precious ones:)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
- Close to my family, my Lola Luz.

5. What countries did you visit?
- None.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
- More courage and determination. No holding back this year.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- A lot has happened for me this year. Both good&bad memories. But the best ones? definitely memories of the last quarter of 2008:)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
- My BSN degree, passing the local boards, and having my first job.

9. What was your biggest failure?
- depression caught me when I failed to get into the company I wanted. Turns out, there's another opportunity waiting for me, so there.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
- nothing major. just the usual cough&colds. and sprained ankle whenever my "tanga mode" hits. Oh, my motorbike accident where I ended up having bruises on my right arm/knee and a bump on my head.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
- I can't think of any.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
- People change. So, I guess everyone?:)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
- Got into arguments with some people, but never did I get depressed about it.

14. Where did most of your money go?
- food, gas, and some stuff.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- local boards, my 23rd birthday bash, bora getaway, and my hospital duties with Bru.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
- a lot:)

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier :)
ii. thinner or fatter? ugh. latter.
iii. richer or poorer? financial status: still getting allowance from parents

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
- Be productive.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
- Procrastination.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
- Spent it with my family. Although I was on AM shift last Dec24-25:(

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
- I did:)

23. How many one-night stands?
- None

24. What was your favorite TV program?
- Still Grey's Anatomy. But I'm rooting for GG as well.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
- Hate's such a strong word. I just don't like him/her now.

26. What was the best book you read?
- all my reviewers! haha:)

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
- a lot of rnb's and love songs from different artists, local/foreign.

28. What did you want and got?
- A lot, actually. He blessed me way too much this year:)

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
- Great movies all year 'round - Ironman, Transformers, etc

31. What did you do on your birthday?
- had my 23rd boozefest bash at my place. Almost all of my favorite people were there. Fun and special night for me:)

32. What's one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
- I'm more than satisfied with what 2008 has given me.

33. How would you describe your personal style in 2008?
- blue scrubs looked cooler. haha:) I kid:)

34. What kept you sane?
- Him, fam&friends:)

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
- none

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
- every graft&corruption issue there is/was.

37. Who did you miss?
- friends that I didn't get to see or spend time with this year:(

38. Who was the best new person you met?
- Bru:)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
- Life's about taking chances:)

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

- "When it's good, then it's good, it's so good til it goes bad"

I think this one's long enough. Holidays are over. Back to reality once again. AM shift tomorrow! :| Which reminds me, I only have 6 more duties at the Ward Department. NExt cut off? ICU/CCU department. ACK!

HAVE A BLAST THIS YEAR, PEOPLE!

:: 12.30 ::

2008-12-30T07:02:00.001-08:00

"i just blogged to say i love you"
11:21p

blogging from the beach using my psp. i ditched my sister's iphone because it doesn't completely load blogger. so, there.

this is just a random entry.

we just got back from d'mall. had dinner at bite club. made me miss my brother because he loves that burger joint.

will go out in a bit and meet trinsy at bombom bar.

i miss you, bru=( i'll see you in a few days. loveyoumuch!

told ya it's a random entry=)

:: 12.23 ::

2008-12-23T01:00:00.005-08:00

Cause anytime that you needed me, I'd be there
Its like you were my favorite drug
7:23p

Christmas season is definitely here.

I've been pretty much preoccupied with work lately. Not that I'm complaining or anything. No, sir. I just needed a break from it.

Burnout. That's what it is.

I asked for a 7-day leave from work on the next cut off. Just in time to spend the holidays with my family in Boracay.

Yes, beach in December. Love it:)

Sooooo, Christmas parties were held left and right these days. Bad vibes lang coz their parties fell right smack on my night duties. But then again, that didn't stop me from having fun. Of course, not. I just gotta enjoy those parties, my countdown already started:(

Emergency Room Department: Now, that was fun. I came to work drunk for some reason, told my co-staffs that I won't be much of help that night. Haha:) Booze were passed all night which left me sleeping at the observation room til 5:30 in the morning. I went back to the station, freshened up, ready to go home. It was helluva fun to see drunk residents making fun of one another. Special, special night. Downside? I didn't get to capture any photos that night:(

SCMMC Christmas Party: PM shift again. I was with 2 other staff, sulking at the station while the others had fun cheering at the venue. We'd check it out from time to time, but yea, patient's first. We had OB patients, and an ongoing blood transfusion that night. Sucks.

Ward2A Christmas Party: Yes, PM shift it is. Food was overflowing. Everyone was still munching til the next day! I had fun with the games, everyone was eager to win some cute prizes. I managed to snag some. Haha:) Heartfelt party for the ward nurses since rotation will be effective after the next cut off. Boo:(

kabadingan:)

This was, so far, the best holiday I've experienced in my life. I'm surrounded with friends, my family, add up Bru, there's nothing more I could ask for. Everything's pretty perfect:)

[edit]
[xs] I'm tired of thinking about her. Just the thought of her ruins everything. I'm sorry if I dwell too much on your past, I just can't let it go because she still lingers. And we both know it. We both fuckin' know it.
[xxs] I'm in dire need of a break.

:: 12.16 ::

2008-12-15T17:39:00.002-08:00

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
11:06a

You can never really stop other people from talking shit about you. Because no matter how you try to keep things on your own, their radars picks up everything.

Every.Fucking.Thing.

And that's bullshit. Really.

---

I had an accident the other day. Alcohol was in my system, put up my brave face on, forgot about my logic, rode a motorbike and drove off. After a few seconds, I was there lying on the concrete with my friend.

Not wanting to get up, I laid there for a few seconds with the bike on my side. Gathered my thoughts, and tried to feel if anything's broken or something.

"Oh, shit."

They rushed at my side, and helped me get up. I stretched my arms and legs, checked my head. Still shocked.

"Thank God."

I was with a bunch of nurses, so their initial reaction was to bring me to the emergency room which was at the other side of the road. I refused, of course.

I have minor bruises on my right arm and knee, and a bump on my head. Nothing serious, really.

Oh, yea. A freakin' bruised ego to add to my injuries which really hurts the most. Seriously.

[xs] Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even - Breakeven, Script

:: 12.09 ::

2008-12-09T16:53:00.007-08:00

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue
10:09a

Adulthood caught another victim. And yea, it's me this time:)

12.06.08 - Good thing my birthday fell on a Saturday, DRUNKEN NIGHT MODE: ON.

My favorite people were there. Well, some didn't make it. Oh, well. It's either I was too drunk to notice, or was too pissed to care. I had fun, soooo much fun I couldn't even care less:)

Shots of vodka, tequila, henessy, chivas regal, and beers were passed to whoever, endlessly. No one's allowed to pass. No, sir. Not this night:)

My family's complete, teammates surprised me, my hospital buddies made my night special, and Bru was there to make it more extra special :)

photos:

Kooki, Sol, Sir Elmer, Brae, Allan

Monte famleeey

Drunkass nurses

UST HS Cheering Team - Pioneer batch

Over-Coffee-Buddies

Kuya Dennis Allan and Kooki

Brae and Ems Ma'am Donna

Ye and Zon with Kuki and Ems

Ye and Sol with Papaw

Sir David, Brae, Sir Richard

my Bru:)

To everyone who came, thank you all:) NEXT SESSION? DESPEDIDA!

:: 11.21 ::

2008-11-20T23:35:00.003-08:00

We're fighting this war
Baby when both of us are losing
5:11p

I'm generally a nice person.
So, it would take a lot for you to piss me off.

Nowadays, that is.

I used to throw fits left and right when I was younger. Believe me, even I wouldn't even befriend myself. It was that bad.

But as they say, things change. People change.

And I did. Yes, I'd like to think that I did.

My experiences from nursing school helped me a lot with my temper. It has stretched little by little. It wasn't easy, but things got better. Way better for me, and of course, for the people around me. That's for sure.

I've been spending almost everyday of my life at the hospital nowadays. Been working for 3 months now. Can you believe that? 3 fucking months, man.

I've dealt with some of the most annoying patients/relatives that this world could offer, but I just simply let them be. There's no need for raising voices when you can approach them with a smile and courteously explain things that triggered their emotions. True enough, those patients are our clients. We work for them, offer them the best service that we possibly can. The smallest thing that you can do is to appreciate it.

APPRECIATION.

That's one thing that I've learned in the past. Appreciate everything. From the minute to the grandest stuff that you encounter from anyone - appreciate. It wouldn't take a lot for you to smile, and the word "Thank you" isn't that hard to say either.

Now, as I've said earlier, it would take a lot for you to piss me off. Sure, some things would really tick me off. But, I'll be fine in a bit. Just let me be, and things will be okay again.

I'd rather smile than frown. Man, I'm really getting old.

Anyway, I was reprimanded at work for drinking and having fun the night before my shift. I didn't have work that night, my friend picked me up and we had a blast with some of my colleagues. I went to work the morning after, smoothly sailed thru the day with a minor headache, did a fine job with my assigned task.

Wait, who the hell gets reprimanded for drinking and having fun???

Apparently, I did. And it was fcuking ridiculous. COME ON. ARE YOU FCUKING KIDDING ME?

One thing that ticks me off? Snooping around my personal life as if you know anything about it.

And people who have ego problems.
Superiority complex is blah.

Tsk. Oh, well. PHOTOS!:)

2008-11-12T02:12:00.005-08:00

We both know that I've been running so long,
This time love won't let me leave.
7:00p

Oftentimes, we'd be left broken by those who we choose to love.

Broken and alone.

Let alone, broken.

True enough, we'd blame ourselves for the sudden twist of fate. But, set aside the bruised ego, it wasn't like that when it all started, right?

It wasn't like this at first, and never did I intend for it to be this way. The friendship blossomed into this beautiful story,

but with a bad ending.

Your words are still in my head, lingering, stabbing my heart like I've never felt before.

I've never felt so low, to the point that you'd rather see me cry in front of you.

---

Photos :)

No more night shift this cut off - AM all the way til the 25th!

:: 11.03 ::

2008-11-03T03:53:00.004-08:00

And every time I look at you,
You'll be who I want you to.
8:27p

I've just finished watching 5 episodes of Grey's Season 5, and a lot of emotions are filling me up.

And now, Thor&Juris' rendition of "Be My Number Two" is on loop on my playlist.

"And if you got something to say to me
Dont try to lay your funny ways on me
I know that its really not fair of me
But my hearts seen too much action"

I kept on playing it last night at the ward station when I was on duty, for no particular reason.

Or so I thought.

Being single rocks and sucks at the same time. Sure, I can do whatever the hell I want without having to compromise with another individual, but the thing is, being single can be really, and I mean REALLY confusing at some point.

Maybe it's the attention?
The blossoming friendships?
Sweet nothings?

It's the little things that they do to make me smile blows me away. Their efforts and all. I know, I'm not that hard to please. NOT AT ALL. I crack up even with the silliest joke you have (just don't throw it in my way when I'm tired, because I kid you not, my brain takes too long to absorb a single line from whatever you're saying. Haha) I can be such a Little Miss Sunshine on some days, and even if I'm the Little Miss Grumpy of the day, it wouldn't take so much for you to turn my mood around.

I have an easy laugh, and it's a gift. I think:)

I'm keeping my guards up this time. I know, I've said it a lot of times, and I'm really trying hard not to go in that direction.

I'm holding my grounds.
But my hands are slipping away.

[xs] The hell with heartbreak. I'm happy. That's what matters:)

:: 10,27 ::

2008-10-26T23:03:00.006-07:00

Your name for everyone to know that I love you, I love you Please hear me now
3:20p

"This day is going to be a bit confusing, but it is also going to be a lot of fun!"
- Yahoo horoscope.

Confusing would be an understatement of what's going on with my life right now. I'm a mess, I admit.

Big. Fat. Mess.

There has been a lot of departures lately. Well, a bit of arrivals as well. But, fuck it. Parting ways with people affects me more. Separation anxiety attacks!

- My Lola got back from Bora with Ma last week. That was the first and last time I've seen her since she flew in from California last March. Or was it April? Whatever. Anyway, I was at the apartment when she got back, and I wasn't able to come home because of some reason that I couldn't even remember. She stayed here for months, and she left for California again last week. What's worst is that she had a connecting flight to LA from Caticlan. So, that left us with notmorethantwohours of quality time with her which was spent on eating, by the way. Boo.

- My day wouldn't complete without a 'kiss' or 'lambing' from her. She can be such a meanass sometimes, but her sweet antics never failed to make me smile. We had lots of plans for her, but sadly, none of them would turn to reality in the near future. I miss you already, and I can't still accept the fact that you had to leave us. I hope your mom would take good care of you. Love you, Mamay:(

- One of my batchmates at work gave up her work recently for she was accepted at this other institution. I'll miss you, Gracey. I've no one to eat my meal with during night shifts:( Good luck with your new work!

Sigh.

Enough with the departures. Let's head back to the arrival area.

After slaving myself for months at work, I finally had some time off with my colleagues. Yes, inuman session, it is. Basagan to the max. Haha:) I was mostly with boys, because the girls were either on duty that night or the next morning. Heck, it was definitely fun:) We only managed to capture very few photos, because apparently, you won't even remember you have a camera phone to capture this good time (heck, you won't even remember that you have a phone at all!) We sneaked in at the forbidden vicinity to spread some good vibes :)

Chivas Regal + Gin + Black Label = GOOD VIBES

[xs] You give bad signals. So bad, that I can't even figure out the images. I'm trapped with the idea of you alone.

You.

I've had thousands of reasons and chances to walk away. But I can't. Because whenever I try, you'd turn my world around with just one message. 360-degrees, to be exact.

With one message. Sheesh. How pathetic can I get?

I never thought it would end up this way, actually. I'm not the type of girl who lets her guard down for anyone. That's what this life has made me. But you, you continue to swoon me over and over again. And I swear, it's doing more damage than good.

Just tell me it's over. So we can move on together.

But I told you last night that I'd wait. Yes, I did.

So, I'd wait. Let's see if things are still the same when you get back from wherever, Love.

:: 10.21 ::

2008-10-21T00:09:00.006-07:00

When you lose the one you wanted,

Cause he’s taken you for granted.
3:15

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

ODE TO THE NICE GIRLS

written by Jessica Leigh Griffith in response to the Ode to the Nice Guys

This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisified with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don't understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mindgames, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

[xs] YOU make me happy. But I'm tired of letting myself fall for you over and over again :|

:: 10.15 ::

2008-10-14T22:59:00.004-07:00

You can thank your stars all you want
But, I'll always be the lucky one
3:44p

No, I'm not dead. YET.

My ass is back on the 12-hour shift, so that means less time, again, for everything. I've neglected my blog and my camera for almost 2 weeks, which is waaay off if you happen to visit my site on a regular basis.

But then again, I know none of you cares, so yea. Haha:)

I was supposed to go out today and have some "ME" time since I don't have work, but tamaditis hits, and the thunder - oh, man. There are plans of having a massage, mani/pedi, facial - well, basically just a lot of pampering for myself, but heck, it's pouring outside :(

I've been on my notebook since I got up earlier and tuned in to Magic 89.9 You know how it goes, gloomy weather + mushy songs and such (ie Happily Never After, The Man Who Can't Be Moved, If I Were A Boy, Your Universe and the likes) = depressed-bordering-sappy moment for me.

Now, I'm quite done with the sappy moments that has happened in my life in the past. Believe me, everything's pretty great when I started working. Although there are days wherein I'd like to ask for extra more minutes of sleep or absent myself from work, but no, commitment it is. So yea, get up and get goin'.

Aside from work, there are few individuals who are making my life a bit colorful nowadays. Sure, I'm not letting myself fall in that direction again. I have my reasons, and one of them is that thing about me leaving soon. So, that would be another heartbreak for me, nonetheless.

Speaking about that 'leaving for good' thing, I talked to my parents about my decision of going back to the States earlier than their proposed month, and they're okay with it. Ma even told me that I can go with Lola on her trip back to Californina this Saturday if I wanted to.

This. Saturday. Already.

I decline, of course. Come on, that's few days from now. And I still have lots of things to do before I leave. Well, that's for another entry.

Anyway, I'm off. Not making sense anymore.

[xs] I don't think that you even realize the joy you make me feel when I'm inside your universe. You hold me like I'm the one who's precious, I hate to break it to you, but, it's just the other way around. You can thank your stars all you want, but I'll always be the lucky one. - Your Universe

:: 10.03 ::

2008-10-02T22:46:00.006-07:00

We've been walking around in circles for some time,

And I think we should head for the finish line.
3:05p

Some quotes from Dawson's Creek.

"You wanted a kiss. Is that what you want? Are you prepared for everything that comes with that kiss? Cause it doesn't end with a fade out. There are repercussions. Hearts get broken. Friendships get ruined. Your entire life could fall apart because of one kiss. That's what you have to look forward to. Do yourself a big favor. Don't rush it."

"Ever have one of those days you wish you could start all over again?"

"How can you simply be friends with someone when everytime you look at them, all you think about is how much more you really want them?"

"It's tearing me up on the inside to have these feelings for you, but I can't get rid of them."

"When a girl hates you the way she hates you, it really means that she likes you. That's basic kindergarten psychology." "Just because we don't say certain things, doesn't mean we don't feel them." "You're born and you die and you make a lot of mistakes in between."

"I'm a firm believer that sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing."

"If two people are meant for each other, it doesn't mean that they are meant for each other now."

"You don't come across that many people that give you butterflies, you just don't."

"The only reason that you don't have answers is because you've been too scared to ask yourself the right questions."

"It was the end of something simple, and the beginning of everything else."

"It's great to have someone you know so well that you don't even have to verbalize what you're thinking most of the time. The other person just gets it, picks up on it."

"I'm just saying thank you. You reminded me of what I'm capable of feeling. It's like I was walking around seeing my life through a smudged window, and then I saw you and the smudges were gone. The window was clean."

"You and I are meant to be together.
Period. The end.
Cue happy ending music."

"Growing up sucks. Not all kisses are magic, and most boys do not live up to your expectations. But there are those times, when everything, I mean love, romance, relationships, it all falls together perfectly. And it's incredible. It's those moments, no matter how depressingly few and far between, that make growing up worth it."

"Someone out there is meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soulmate, the one you can tell your dreams to. he'll smile at you when you tell him, but he'll never laugh at your heart. he'll brush the hair out of your eyes and send you flowers when you least expect it. he'll call you to tell you goodnight before you get into bed or just because he is thinking about you. he'll be bursting to talk to you each morning just to hear the sound of your voice. he'll look into your eyes and tell you that you are the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and for the first time in your life ... you'll believe it."

"That's why I wanted to see you. You're a touchstone. You take me back to this nice, safe place where crushes never end and hearts can't be broken."

"At a certain point, the whole thing just becomes too much to process, and your brain gets taken out of the loop, and all you have to rely on is your heart, your natural human instincts. It's liberating... not at first of course, at first it's terrifying, like falling... but that's the point, isn't it?"

"It seems that every relationship produces its share of disappointments, insecurity, and pain. Anyone who's never been hurt is either very lucky, or very lonely."

"Somewhere in the middle something about us makes sense."

"Maybe some friendships aren't meant to be saved...maybe we're meant to spend a certain part of our life with certain people...and then move on."

"Your whole life is about to change in a way that it will never be the same again, your opening a new chapter, and you have to give a proper goodbye to the old one, you don’t want to miss these moments, even the sad ones, because you'll never get them back again, so enjoy this time, let it wash over you so that your memories of it are strong"

"Did it ever occur to you that you're so caught up in trying to make the right choice that you've never stopped to consider the possibility that there may not be a right choice, or a wrong choice, just a bunch of choices?"

"Everything changes eventually, that's just the way life is. You have no control over it. Suddenly people you think are always going to be there, they just disappear. People go on, and they move away, and they grow up."

"Life is desperate. Life is chances you never get to take back."

It's funny on how I can relate on these lines. Wala ng dapat isulat pa. These lines says it all:|

---

Had some quality time with the family last Wednesday, and it's a holiday as well. So, imagine the people lining up at the cinemas. Sheesh. Well, the line for Eagle Eye, that is. We got the 5th row seats at the movie house. That near. It's all good, though. Action-packed film + great scenes + Shia = WOW.

[xs] I'm torn. The one with issues? or the Free man? :|
[xxs] Too lazy to upload more photos.
[xxxs] More sensible entries soon:)

:: 10.02 ::

2008-10-01T22:05:00.003-07:00

Paalam na muna,
Sandali ka lang naman mag-iisa.
1:15p

Please support my friend's band - PiSENLAV

Check out their song "ALAY". My fave as of the moment.

youtube - PISENLAV

pisenlav.multiply.com

profiles.friendster.com/pisenlav

Thanks:)

:: 09.26 ::

2008-09-26T02:56:00.003-07:00

We can be two rebels
Breakin' the rules
8:30p

We'll be celebrating our 2nd month in two weeks.

It was scary at first when fate binded us as one, but it felt oh-so-good knowing that I have you to share my everyday chaos with. I was idle for the past couple of months, and God knows how scared I was. But you made me feel welcome.

You made me feel that I belong there.

It was the first step of moving on with my life. Taking every lessons that I've learned it the past, may it be in easy or in a hard way, it's all with me. And I've got it all to share with you.

Walking through this new experience with you gave me a different perspective of what lies ahead - our future. Sure, good and bad days come and go, but to go through all these moments with you gives me the assurance and security that you'll always have my back whenever unwanted circumstances arise.

Everyday is different. Our chosen path is entangled with life's diversity and it's pretty tough for a novice like me, to tell you the truth. But I strive on to learn and try to adapt to all these burgeoning changes.

Everything seems to be substantial at first. Questions like "Should I pursue this?", "Is this the start of a new chapter?", "Is it worth it?" and the likes often pops in my head.

Strangely, a smirk forms at the side of my mouth. "Fcuk yea. I want this."

The adrenaline rush whenever I'm with you is inexplicable. From the moment I walk in, maaaan, it's a different world. Far away from the norms of life. But truth be told, it's really within you where reality happens.

Take care of me, please? I still have a lot to learn.

* I'm still single, but attached with my work:) Happy 2 months to me in two weeks!

---

Death.
One scary word.
With no escape.
Just acceptance.

I've written about death before. There's my entry about Tatay Pedring, Fistula Boy, Tito Danny, and Sienna Phoenix (click my entries under the SELF-ISH side). Although death is a part of the life process, there's always that hint of heartbreak, no matter how discreetly people hide it.

I've seen people die in front of me. A kid, even.

As I've said before, death is inevitable in my line of career. My seniors would tell me to put up a brave face whenever these things would occur.

My stone cold heart would melt everytime I encounter death. Even if I've just been with the patient for a mere 5 minutes, there will still be a heartbreak at the end.

It happens. Life happens. And I still get affected by it.

* R.I.P. Lola Luz & CJ.

[xs] "Things are bound to happen no matter how hard we try to prevent it. No matter how we try to hold onto something, somehow life has its own way to get it back from us. And sadly, even if we don't want to, we must comply." - It always starts and ends with Him

:: 09.23 ::

2008-09-22T19:23:00.003-07:00

Today in the blink of an eye,
I'm holding on to something.
4:15p

:) I thank Him for proving to me that there would always be sunshine after the rain. Add up the rainbows, it's perfectly beautiful.

:) If there's one thing that you cannot take away from me, it would be my optimism. Sure, shit happens, but, those shit can't stop me from looking on the brighter side of life.

:) Hard days definitely come and go, but isn't it amazing on how He turns things around?

:) I was left with no one when he was gone, He gave me few ones to look at. And it's always a lovely sight.

---

Things has been peachy and beautiful lately. Forget the sleep deprivation, stress, and the likes, for it just shows that I'm alive and happy to have experienced those things. Although, there were days wherein you just wanted to be left alone, but no, commitment it is. So just get up and get going. And be thankful.

---

Forgive me with this entry. I just woke up :)

[xs] Stop acting like we're together. You're long forgotten. And no, this is not for you. It's someone else. So don't get fcuked up by this.

:: 9.15 ::

2008-09-14T17:47:00.002-07:00

I don't know where,
Confused about how as well.
Just know that these things will never change for us at all.
10:06a

You and your goofy smile.
Exhilarating view, everytime.
I'm always left in awe,
Wanting for more.

I crave alone.

Vulnerable, it is.
Please,
Be with her.
She's yours.

---

Midlife crisis welcomed me with a closed fist. Hits me hard as she swung that deadly fist around.

And I'm not even 30 yet.

Work's been pretty great lately. Yes, paycheck's out of the question, but hey, I get to experience things first hand under my profession, which is cool. I get to interact with my patients, carry out doctor's orders, prepare medications, and a whole lot more. The experience is awesome, and the people as well.

Although there's always a downside for everything.

I was recently given the 12-hour shift. And that means dedicating more with work, and less with everything. Whenever I'm off to my place, the bed is all I can imagine. I seldom spend time with my family. Although phone calls and mobile messages works for my parents, so that's pretty okay. I miss my brother and my sister. Conflict with our schedules is the main issue. We'd probably hang and goof around soon. One fun free day soon, please!

I'm looking forward to the Exo's 8th anniversary, though. Halloween party it is, girls! FOR THE SPAAAAAAAAA! :)

What else?

I haven't updated for so long. There's a lot of stories to tell, but whenever I try to squeeze out all of it, not even a drip comes out. My brain cells are insatiably annoying. Haha:)

:: 09.06 ::

2008-09-06T00:17:00.002-07:00

Never an honest word,
But that was when I ruled the world.
4:28p

I slept the whole afternoon away yesterday when I got home from work. And took another good 8hours sleep again last night.

Now, I can't sleep. And I have a 10p-6a duty at the hospital tonight.

I've to come up with ideas that would keep awake later. The ghost stories, perhaps? It has been quite a fad at our work station lately.

Everyone knows that hospitals are one of the favorite hot spots of spirits. You bet. A lot of stories has been passed on, and now they're slowly resurfacing. One by one. And we're the ones experiencing it.

Pretty nice. NOT.

I've done night duties already, and luckily, I haven't encountered anything creepy, yet. The running kid, female nurse wandering around, black man, crying man/woman, opening doors, and the likes.

Please, I've no plans of meeting them anytime soon.

I'm such a wuss when it comes to these stuff. I'd probably wet myself when I see one. Haha:)

---

The break up issue has come out in the open. People at work would ask me about the ex, and I would tell them the same thing over and over again. We broke up. We're done. And I'm goooooood.

And somehow, some wouldn't believe me.

I'm coping, yes. And everything's fine. There's no reason to be sad or anything because I'm done with that phase. I've let go. And I feel so much better now.

Some said that the break up didn't affect me at all. It did. And I'm over it. So what's the problem now?

And suddenly I get it. We have this notion about the post break up ish. Like mourning over a failed relationship. Crying your heart out and such.

I go to work with a happy face, a genuine happy one. I love my work. I love the environment and the people that surrounds me. There's no need to go there being all bitchy and stuff, slapping to everyone's faces your "I-just-broke-up-with-my-boyfriend-so-leave-me-alone" aura.

No, I'm not like that. I've cried my heart out already. I'm done with it. And there's no reason to do it over and over again. Why do I have to be miserable after a break up when there's a lot of reasons to smile about?

Right?

So, forgive me if I'm not crying, writing heartbreaking letters, cursing every love songs, or locking myself in my room because I wanted to be alone.

I've accepted that my relationship failed. There's no pointing fingers, or putting blame on anyone this time. It failed, let's just put it at that.

I've grown, I guess. And I'm pretty sure that this time, it's called Maturity.

[xs] I'm quite vulnerable these days, but I'm keeping my guards up. My heart's gonna be on a loooooong hiatus :)

:: 08.29 ::

2008-08-29T02:08:00.004-07:00

I flew everywhere but love inside of me,
It’s unbelievable to see how love can set me free.
7:29p

A letter caught my attention when I got up from bed this afternoon. Well, yea, I slept the whole day away. The thing that I've been carefully avoiding has come to reality.

Bittersweet reality, I'd like to think of it as that.

It was screeching halt. NOT. I saw this coming. I knew it even before it happened. Goodbye's are hard, so I ought not to see him. Relief and pain fought their way the last time we saw each other.

It's that confusing. Really. And now it's over. For good.

Love, indeed, has set me free.

:: 08.27 ::

2008-08-26T17:36:00.008-07:00

When you need to find the strength,
It's the faith that makes you stronger.
11:32a

A lot has happened over the past few weeks. I'll jot down whatever my brain cells can recall. They've been pretty overworked lately. Haha:) Blame me for using them that much.

Soooooo, I took my oath last August 20, afternoon session at SMX Convention
chuva. The trip was horrible. There was traffic and flood everywhere, we made a few detours just so my Mom and I could make it on time. And we did, luckily. It started around 2pm and ended few minutes before 5pm. The area was filled with a lot of survivors, the BON's, and proud parents. The speeches were great, although I got bored on some parts. I'm now officially married to my Nursing career :)

As for my work, I survived my first 2 weeks. We (the 6 newly hired trainees) are now part of the schedule. We have 6a-2p, 2p-10p, and 10p-6a. I think we'll be part of the 12-hour shift soon. Uh-oh.

I've learned to love the new environment, and the people as well. They welcomed us with open arms, and never got tired of us when we bug them with questions. Hey, cut us some slack, our brain s had to cope up in this fast-paced setting:)

A co-worker recently bade us goodbye as we he will review for an exam this December. We'll miss you, Sir Philip. Good luck, and God bless:)

I spent a wonderful Saturday night with my family and friends, Thanksgiving Partaaaaay:) Some weren't able to make it, but those who did turned it into a one awesome night. The food was delicious, of course, all cooked by my Ma. Drinks were overflowing as well - beers, Vodka, Bacardi, Carlos 1, Chivas, and Tequila were present. Man, they made our heads spin:)

Until the next party, guys! Despedida, perhaps? Haha:)

[xs] Some things in life are ought to be put out. Like a candle, it can only shine and bare out its light for a certain period of time. We can try to keep it lit up for little while. But that's all we have, I guess. A little time. We can only do so much to make things work. Sometimes, we just have to give in and let go.

:: 08.16 :;

2008-08-16T04:14:00.003-07:00

Do what you want but you're never gonna break me, Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me.
10:13p

I've loved Miss Natasha Bedingfield ever since I heard her first single. Her husky voice is like the better version of Pink's, I think. Belting with that paos-like voice? Wow.

Anywaaaaay, intro lang yun. Haha:)

6 new trainees, 2 weeks initiation, 8-hour shift.

Soooooo, I survived my first week as a nurse! Yes, like an actual nurse who works at the hospital. It was okay - challenging at first, but still, it was a good experience. I wasn't completely lost on my first day like I thought I would be. Luckily, there were familiar faces at the station which made the environment less threatening, and I was with my classmate too so we ended up bugging each other the whole shift.

Going back to the hospital vicinity gives that extra boost to my inner soul. It's like I've found my purpose, and that is to help those who are in need. Naaaks. But seriously, hearing them say "Thank you" or seeing smiles at their faces, maaaaan, that takes my mind off my aching feet. Well, almost. But you get what I mean. It's priceless, very.

After 2 months of bumming around, I'm back to morning duties once again. My white uniform with that tiny white cap and those white shoes was once again put to work. I would've posted some photos, but zits and eye bags are all you can see on my face as of the moment, so, no. Haha.

---

Ma and I went out earlier today as she asked me to drive for her to get some stuff for her new kitchen. We stopped by at Dr. Magno's clinic for an ear check up. You see, I've been living with a ruptured right eardrum for years now, and I haven't completely followed the doctor's order - well, except for the last check up that I had. I stared at the hole for a few minutes and thought, "No shit, man. That's my eardrum right there." Haha. He prescribed me with some oral meds and ear drops, and that was it. I was asked to go back after a week, which became after a month. Tsk tsk. Good news! It's closing - slowly- but still, you can see the difference:) And I wouldn't have to go under the knife after all.

Which brings me to the next ish. See, the doctor also does rhinoplasty (okay, nose job) and stuff, and he works for one of the most renowned medical group there is in the Philippines. And my Ma brought up the topic of me wanting to have my nose done someday. Oh the embarrassment. I was kidding, of course! I'd joke about that when my sister and I were dead bored. But heck, I guess she took that one seriously and she talked me into it on our way home. I told her I'd think about it. Hmmm.

I'd like to have the LASIK eye surgery, though. I hate it when my glasses falls off, or get fogged up when I'm wearing a face mask, or having my contact lenses pop out from eyes because of dryness, or worst, losing one of them and having to depend on the other eye. Horrible.

---

I haven't updated my blog nor any of my accounts lately. I'm mostly found asleep after a warm shower at night. Tired much? Very.
Oath taking's on the 20th already, got my tickets last Friday at PNA. I decided to avail the hard plastic membership I.D. instead of the pink paper one alone. I'll take photos of it soon.
My myspace account was blocked, the email that I used on that account was blocked as well - all because I couldn't remember my password. Tsk.
I deactivated my Facebook account. I couldn't stand being poked and having to go through those invites. Maybe I just got bored with it. I don't know. I found some distant (?) relatives, though.
I like My Sassy Girl's Korean version better than the American one. Elisha Cuthbert is undoubtly one hot hot hot chic.
I tried to sort out the router for our wi-fi connection. I failed. I guess my technical skills aren't sufficient enough (Well, I got bored reading the pdf file for installation).
Am I the only person who's not into Gossip Girl series? I haven't seen a single episode so I wouldn't really know what I'm missing. I'll check it out soon.
Step Up 1 on Star Movies. Later.

[xs] The weather's a bit cranky lately. My thanksgiving dinner's next week. No rain on that day, please.
[xxs] Advanced happy 8th, boyfriend:)

:: 08.09 ::

2008-08-08T21:09:00.002-07:00

You never get enough, baby you don't
You're a shining star
1:40p

I hate waiting in lines. Really. I do.

PRC is horrible. For me, at least. We went there last Thursday to check for the ratings and stuff. We got there at 8am and the lines were pretty long already. 8am - mahaba na ang pila. Anong oras dumating ung iba dun? 6am? Che ka. There were instructions at the back of the forms, I know, but heck, PRC should clean up their act. There were SOME nice personnels helping the people out, but maaaan, there were LOTS of rude ones too! You go there and file, you fall in line, and you'll get yelled at by some mean ass people you don't even know! People would pile up, that's expected - from registrations, renewal, applications and the likes, but do they have to scream at some fellas who had no idea on what they're doing and were just asking for some directions? I saw a lot of frustrated looks, others would just bow their head and walk out because of humiliation.

Tsk. They should really do something about their system. And their people, too.

Sooooo, things are slowly picking up lately, in a good way that is. I'm in no rush at all, but this week was one exhilarating loop on the ride.

We went for a visit at our base hospital last week, hoping we'd get a shot as volunteers/trainee. The chief nurse told us to come back the following week for an exam after handing out our credentials. So we did. I guess Lady Luck was on our side when we took the exam because apparently, we passed. Haha:) We were scheduled for an interview with the Medical Director yesterday, and whaddyaknooooow? We're starting on Monday! Well, that's the fun part. Down side? Volunteer staff gets nothing. It's pure charity, man. So, we're back on square one after all, asking money from our parents. Haha.

[xs] I should start studying now. My brain cells cannot remember any procedures anymore. I hope everything's perky with you, boys and girls!

:: 08.02 ::

2008-08-01T08:42:00.003-07:00

I remember when nobody cared,
But you.
1:40a

Two songs caught my attention earlier on my way home. You see, most of my title entries are lines from songs. Lines that I can totally relate to when I have things going on in my mind.

Well, mostly.

"All we do is fight
and say the things that hurt so bad,
to where we both begin to cry"
- Don't Wanna Try, Frankie J

Things hasn't been quite easy lately. Relationship wise, that is. I am emotionally deranged - Yes, that's one way to put it. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you my stone cold heart, at its best.

A lot of words were thrown without justification, merely to hurt the other person unconsciously. I was out of zone on the love lane, bordering the lunatic-type-of-girlfriend of which I truly abhor.

They say Life is a bitch. True enough.
But I say, Love is one tougher bitch.

Life is never fair. Man, she never plays fair. Still, we fight with every chance we can get. Either we win or lose, we go on. Because that's how Life is. She's too effin beautiful to put to waste. But with Love? Now that's a different story.

You see, Love can be the best or the worst thing that could happen to an individual. Sure, it's fun at first. All the positivity in life is within the new couple, the hopes and the wishes that this could be it - The One. Heck, all of us dreams of finding our own 'The One.' Who the hell would want to fish a rotten sock in the sea? Or ocean? Or maybe in a fishbowl? That's just plain bull. Useless.

Love has this bitchslap that Life can never do, for she uses the heart as her target. What a mean biatch. Haha. Yet we love her. We go looking for her eventhough we know what's at stake, our beaten heart. Love's move is such a kickass and nobody's really mastered it. Though we try, at our own expense, our own happiness.

"I'm not the easiest person to love
But you, you've opened your heart to show me what I'm worth"
- On The Side Of Me, Corrinne May

My heart melted when I heard this song. The words flowed right through me - epiphany at its finest.

You're all that I could think of at that moment. The happy times we shared, all of it sashayed through my mind while the song played in the background.

What happened to me?
Why did I turn out this way?
How could I do this to you?

Those questions are left to be answered. I don't have anything to say but I'm sorry. I didn't know that I was hurting you. I'm turning into someone I do not know, someone that would destroy this relationship in the long run. And no, I'm not letting that happen this time.

The past made my heart stone cold. I guess she got tired of playing the game for she never wins. She'd often get out and try to play again, but ends up watching on the sidewalk, not wanting to go home crying because she lost.

She played safe.

Lately, she went out and gambled once again. She stumbled, got bruised, but she brushed it off. Like a true player.

So far, she's still in the game. Hoping she'd win this time.

:: 07.26 ::

2008-07-25T18:29:00.007-07:00

Just you wait and see
Believe me.
1:08p

Have you ever had that feeling where in you just wanted to disappear? Just for a moment. Or two. You know, just disappear? Get out of sight? Be gone?

I did.

I had a mild depression lately. Just for a few days. No, I'm not going nuts, thank you.

Everything just got caught up in a really bad timing. My situation must be quite familiar with the others. You, yourself, might have had this experience some time in your life. You get the drill. All I'm saying is that, I felt the same way too. And that, you're not alone. And no, we're both not nuts. Ha.

I graduated few months back, got exiled for the review, took the local boards, and got into some job interviews.

All of it in a momentary blur.

When I wrote about that last job interview I went to, I waited for weeks for them to call for I really like the company. It's in line with my career. It's a good head start for a newbie like me.

My friend got called in. I wasn't. And that sucked pretty big.

When I told my Ma on how my interview went, she told me that I didn't have to tell them about the hotel. Well, I didn't, okay? They were prying on it. I discreetly told them that she manages the hotel (when I was asked about my Ma's work), and the follow up question was, "Do you own the hotel?" I nod, and told them that it was a family business in a very timid manner. I didn't brought it up. I had no intention to do so in the first place because seriously, it has nothing to do with my job interview. All I wanted was to get into the company and work my ass off so I could stop bumming at home.

Apparently, I was discriminated. A victim of prejudice.

Like, seriously? I got cut off because of that? Because my family is a bit well off? Maaaaan, that is so lame. I applied for the lowest position there is, and they told me it wasn't available so they referred me and my friend into another position which we gladly accept. I even got interviewed by the company's Vice President! I got that far, dear. So, imagine the disappointment that I felt when I wasn't called in to work.

I spent days in bed. Not wanting to get up, eat, and do stuff. If I didn't have medications to take, I'd probably not eat because I didn't have the appetite to do so. You see, I eat just for the sake of my medications. Now, that's pretty insane if you know me personally.

Hours were spent watching reruns of the most amazing storyline ever, Grey's Anatomy. Haha. I even cried on that episode where George's dad died and I've watched it like millions times already!

See? Depression sets in.

There were nights where in I'd feel like a good-for-nothing person. Like, dude, if I'll live like this, it's crazy. It's bull.

No, I'm not suicidal. Like I told you a million times already with my earlier posts, "Life is too beautiful to waste." But I wasn't a big fan of beautiful things lately. I was all gloomy and sad. Me. The optimistic one. The one who always looks on the brighter side. The one who kicked my roommate's ass when he said that he wouldn't take the local boards if he fails on the preboard exams. Just me, all gloomy.

And that is so not me.

I was exchanging messages with The Boyfriend the other night. I was feeling all the sadness once again, ready to say whatever, when a staff's message from my review center popped into my screen, "Lalabas na result, check it."

Got up in a jiffy, went to the laptop, like a maniac wanting to taste someone, yea, that's how I felt. Wait, let me rephrase that, like a fat kid who wants to have that crispy roasted lechon. Yea, that's better.

I messaged my friend to go online so we could wait together. Man, this anxiety really took its toll. It got everyone crazy.

So, we were just there, waiting and searching. Googling. Haha:) Getting endless messages about the results.

Then articles about the students who topped the boards appeared.

Yea, killing us little by little sure ticks me off sometimes. Plus, my laptop played few tricks on me and decided to die a couple of times, leaving me hanging.

"May result na." Now, that made my heart stop for a bit. The Adobe format took eternity to load, so I opened the pdf file link.

Trembling hands didn't help much because I couldn't even hold the mouse right. Haha. My brother and my sister sat with me as I clasp my hands onto my mouth. Maaaan, talk about severe anxiety!

I was one of those 64,459 hopefuls who took the local licensure examination last June 1 and 2 of this year. And I'm glad to say that I'm also one of those 27,765 who passed this year's June 2008 NLE:)

Yes, RN it is :)

I cried when I read my name. Not the typical tears of joy, but I cried out of relief. Not the silent tears falling, but a bawling cry it is. My sister was hugging me, it was funny. Crazy funny.

I couldn't contain my feelings. My hands were trembling when I sent messages to those who passed. And felt bad for those who didn't.

Thanks to all those who supported and prayed for the hopefuls. To our former Dean Nerie who never left us when everyone did, you are really appreciated. To my family, of course, this would mean nothing without you. To The Boyfriend, just because. And to THE BIG GUY up there, thank you.

Some may say that this is overrated. Well, what actually is overrated? You graduate, you review for the exams, took the exams, and waited for the verdict that will enlighten your path of career. Dude, this is something for me, for us. We didn't want our efforts to put to waste, I don't think someone would wish for that. Examinations are basically silent killers for some. You drag yourself everyday for a review class, then go and read more chapters when you get home. Sacrificed few parties and get togethers for a few chapters on your review materials. Of course you'd feel proud knowing that you passed the exam. Dude, you worked hard for it. Everyone did. So, congratulations and go celebrate!

A lot of names with the appendage RNs were posted on different sites. A lot of congratulatory messages were thrown with full of pride and happiness.

One post caught my attention, though.

It was an angry one. Calling those who passed inconsiderate and insensitive. I don't personally know the one who wrote it. But due to my Multiply setting, I can read posts without even clicking the rest of the entry. It's all there. So forgive me if I rant about this, and no, I won't dish out your identity.

You're angry, and I get it. You're hurting and you mask it with words. Angry words. It's more of disappointment, I think. Sharing your disappointment is fine, it's therapeutic. But, badmouthing the people who did otherwise? Well, that's pretty inconsiderate and insensitive too, don't you think?

I've friends who didn't pass as well. But they're taking it in a positive way. They feel bad too, I know. Even if they say that they're happy for you, they feel bad inside for not making it. And I feel that. That's how friends are. You know how they feel even if they don't show it. You just know.

As for the job? Well, I'm the person who believes in "Everything happens for a reason". That discrimination happened for a reason, for it made me wait for the result, and by that, it came along with a trainee slot at our base hospital.

See? Everything happens for a reason:)

Shelley Brae M. Sullano, RN

:: 07.14 ::

2008-07-14T02:14:00.011-07:00

Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
7:42p

Start.

Who's getting tired of my pink blogspot layout? You. You. You. Yeeeea, me too. I'm checking out layouts on different sites and the thought of using them comes into mind. But, nah. There was a time when I was really into making headers and layouts for my accounts, and I don't know what exactly happened. I got tired of it, I think. And I don't know how to use Photoshop anymore :( Haha. Loser much. I'll try to make one soon. Gotta prep those html's.
HSM 1 is on Disney right now. HSM 3 teaser before that. My sister got excited. Haha:) It'll be in cinemas on October. Tagal pa. Tsk.
We celebrated my sister-in-law's 25th last 07.05. We had dinner at aVeneto in Trinoma. Great place, people. Affordable too! Watched Hancock after with the couples, and then had some round of drinks at Krokodile Grill to cap the night off. I loved Hancock, funny movie. And no, I haven't watched Wanted yet. Loser again.

I want my own Canon :( The first photo's my trusty Olympus. That's Jocer's Canon.

I haven't done anything productive since the NLE last June. So, lately I've been submitting cv's online, and going to some job interviews and stuff. I had some booboo's along the way; like that one time when I forgot my I.D. which left me waiting outside the office for my friends to finish. Pretty pathetic. Haha:) The last one I went to was a bit promising. I'm still waiting for their call. Keeping my fingers crossed. I really want that job.
Ma's pushing me to pursue my masters degree. I'm still thinking about it. Might give it a go next semester.
Mary the hoochimomma's back from Tampa Bay, Florida! Yes, after 6 long years, she's back in P.I. again:) They went out last Saturday night, and man, I missed a lot! That was some night, girls! You're all gorgeous!

My last three entries were pure drama. Ack. Forgive me. Must be the hormones. Yea. Blame it on the hormones:) Everything's pretty okay between The Boyfriend and I.

End.

Random stuff. Just to let you know that I still exist:)

Yea, yea. The monster's back!

:: 06.30 ::

2008-06-29T05:23:00.007-07:00

I feel like breaking down the walls,
Welcome you into my world.
9:24a

It's make or break this time. Who's side are you on?

You. Yes, you.

You probably had your heart broken once (or twice) in this lifetime, or broken someone else's heart without even knowing it. Either way, hearts are broken, and feelings are crushed. And man, it sucks to be in that position. Really.

Everyone has their own story of a heartbreak. I, for one, have lots. I think. So does my sister, my brother, my parents, my friends, and all those individuals from all walks of life.

All of them. All of us.

We may differ in stories, or in situation. But nonetheless, it's a heartbreak. It's that thing that you cannot define. The feeling? Ugh. Sure it hurts. Not the typical hurt-hurt like bruising your knees, but HURT-HURT. Like a different level of pain. The one that can't be relieved by Povidone Iodine. You know what I mean?

When I wrote my Pain entry, I wasn't really hurting that time. I was just in the mood to write something about it, and reading it again, made me feel err wow. I wrote that. Funny.

"As long as you're living, embrace life and everything that comes with it. You'll get through with a few bumps along the way, and it won't hurt to stand after a nasty fall (no matter how humiliating it was on your part, you can't just lay there flat face on the concrete forever, right?"

What I'm going through right now is one helluva bump, for sure. It hurts. And I'm scarred at the moment (or for life, I'm not sure).

When we were young, our parents taught us to get up after falling/tripping. And then you'd hear them say how brave you are when you're up on your feet once again. You put up a 'brave face' for everyone to see. Eventhough deep down inside you wanted to cry because of the pain. But no, you stand up anyway. That's how kid's are.

That's how we used to be, how we were back then.

But when you're all grown, now that's a different story. After the fall, some would find ways to alleviate the pain. Some would get up and walk it off. Some would make fun out of it. And for some, well, I don't think they felt anything after the fall. Stupor. Haha:)

I fell last week, and I haven't got up yet. I tried to stand, but my knees wobbled causing more bruises. For now, I just wanted to sit here and be left alone with my bruises.

Please, just let me be.

---

Movie/Dinner date with Earlzon and Ara at Promenade:)

Parking can such a drag, but I don't think this baby's got a problem with it:)

:: 10.26 ::

2008-06-26T06:53:00.006-07:00

Trust me, it hurts.
10:13p

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
Then we head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way

I hang up you call
We rise and we
We feel like just walking away
As our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave, maybe you'll return
Maybe another fight
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
We never know baby you and I

Ordinary People, John Legend

:: 06.23 ::

2008-06-23T08:00:00.008-07:00

I'm gonna smile
Coz I deserve to.
11:44p

Heartbreak.

Heart.

Break.

Heartbreak.

Spinning thoughts. No words. Can't explain. Love much. Thrown away. In front of me. No one's fault. Shit happens. This will pass. You'll see. Happiness. Freedom.

I want it back.

[xs] Don't ask.

:: 06.15 ::

2008-06-15T07:21:00.011-07:00

"I can't get too excited."
- Dr. Bruce Banner
10:57p

If you haven't seen The Incredible Hulk, then you wouldn't get my title:)

My siblings and I had a movie date with The Father yesterday. Pa, my sister, and I left home around 4 just in time to meet my brother at the mall. We grabbed some goodies at Five Cows Resto and Ice cream Bar while waiting. You should try it out, pretty awesome resto. We had Ferrero Crunch Supreme, Old fashion Banana Split, Bubblegum Blast, and Blueberry Cheesecake. And ordered fries with that just to alter the taste of those cold treats.

Played for a while at Timezone before getting in line for the movie tickets (which I totally forgot when we got there). Good thing, there were still available kickass seats on the 6:30p show of The Incredible Hulk.

When my sister and I grabbed some drinks at Taters (their iced tea tastes like Yakult, and we love it), and popcorn at the other store, the never ending question popped up again,

"Kambal po ba kayo?"

We've heard this a couple of times already, and honestly, I don't see any resemblance. Sure, were sisters, but that's it. She's the pretty one, and I'm the err pleasantly plump one. I don't wanna say fat, okay? Haha:) *waves at all the pleasantly plump women out there*

We'd often say yes, just for the kicks. And as always, there's the follow up question,

"Sinong mas matanda?"

Now here comes the fun part. Sometimes we'd be pointing fingers at each other. Or one would say, "Ako". Actually, I say that most of the time, followed by "ng 3 years", then we'll took off, leaving smirks at our faces.

Okay, enough about that.

As for the flick, I haven't watched the first one, but my brother said that this one was waaaay better than the first. So yea, it was pretty good actually. Go watch it yourself, I'm not a good critic. For me, it's either Yay or Nay. And this one's Yay:)

Just about an hour left before the good ol' father's day ends. So, happy Pop's day to all those wonderful Spermen (yea, yea) all over the globe!

To Pa, you may not be perfect and all, I know. No one is, right? But for me, you are the greatest. It's not like I don't have a choice or something (heeeey, come to think of it, I don't really have a choice! haha! okay, I kid), but since I'm stuck with you in this lifetime, you are my greatest! And if ever I'd be given the chance to pick whoever I want for my father, I'd pick the greatest man alive ever,

Bill Gates!

I'm totally kidding:) I'd pick you, of course. Over and over again, Pa. Love, love!:)

---

Getting on the treadmill has been fun lately. Although I've only been there twice since I started this week. Heeeey, the first one was pretty tough so I took a break the next day. My body was really feelin' it so a gave it a rest. Then the next day, I went there The Boyfriend since he doesn't have class that day (I got 2 free passes for guests included on my lifestyle plan, so there). And whaaadyyaaknow? I bumped into my old high school friend, Lindsey! She works there as a fitness instructor. Woot woot! Now I can have free sessions with her whenever I want to without having to apply for a personal trainer! Haha:) I'm kidding, of course.

After completing the 15mins at the treadmill and the cycling machine, I went to see The Boyfriend at the other side. My upper arms still hurt so I couldn't even budge the machine that's made for the upper arms/shoulders. We were having a fit at the machine, so I stood up and sat at the next machine which was made for the leg/thigh muscles. Forgive me, I don't know the exact names, so bear with me, okay?:) As much as I wanted to work out, like really really really work out, my body refuses to cooperate so The Boyfriend told me to hit the sauna already.

Speaking of sauna, Yea, I've used the sauna quite a few times already whenever I have massages. It's either with Ma or my sister. But not like the ones at Fitness First.

Sure, the hot mist was awesome. You'd even think that you're at the middle of the desert if you close your eyes. Awesome hot steam, I tell you. And it could fit about 10-12 persons max.

And yes, boobies were everywhere. You see, I'm pretty conservative to the point that I can't go buck naked with other people. But it was everywhere. And I still have months to spare before my Ma's original lifestyle plan expires. So, I guess I'm gonna have to be used to it. Seeing boobies, I mean. Yea.

So, after those boobies, Baba and I decided to watch Kung Fu Panda. I got the tickets while he grabbed some goodies. Fun movie. I recommend it to those who want to share a laugh with someone. It was actually our first official date eversince we've become a couple. Say, after 5 months? Because everytime we go out, it's either with friends or family. So yea, first official date, Babe:) And I loved every minute of it:) You're my Po from now on, by the way:)

---

It has only been 13 days since the exam. 13 days? Maaaan, that felt like 3 weeks already. Seriously, I'm bored out of my wits. I haven't done anything productive lately except for the gym ish. I haven't started doing my resume or application letter, for that matter. Tsk.

Job, anyone?

[xs] I removed my Candyfied section. Yes, I didn't make it to the finals. Nah, don't wanna talk about that one:)
[xxs] Another school/work week. Have a kickass day at school/office/orwherever!

:: 06.10 ::

2008-06-09T18:52:00.004-07:00

So in love are we two,
Just cant wait to say I do.
10:05a

Guess who's getting married this December?:)

Yeaaaaa, pangga!

Mr. & Mrs. Jordan Bergantin

:: 06.09 ::

2008-06-09T06:27:00.007-07:00

The angels singing say we are alone with you,
I am alone and they are too with you.
11:06p

Eating fastfood has been one of my comfort measures during my review days. Aside from the fact that it's fast (duh) and it tastes pretty darn good (damn, I'm craving for McDee's McChicken sandwich or KFC's Zinger) it's also pretty handy when you eat it. Okay, duh. Bad side? Maaaaan, I've gained like shit, y'all!

You'd get to know that you've gained pounds when:

1) You get tired after walking 5 steps. Haha! Fine. 20 then?
2) You can't see your own feet when your lying supine without a pillow under your head because apparently, your tummy's getting in the way.
3) Your clothes doesn't fit you anymore (this one's a total heartbreaker. Really.)
4) Double chin. Aaaaaayayay.

I didn't mean to offend other voluptuous women out there, forgive me if I offend you or something, but all of those things pertains to ME. Yes, I gained a lot, and it's giving me a pretty darn hard time.

Sooooo, I was pretty ecstatic when Ma trasferred her Fitness First account under my name. The timing was just right, I'm totally a bum nowadays, so yea.

I had my first session today, and maaaaaaan, my body's aching all over. I was halfway from dying when I started a couple of steps on the treadmill. Haha:) and I keep on hitting the emergency stop button so I had to do it again and again. See how clumsy I am? Tsk. It's getting worse actually. So yea, 15 minutes of that treadmill almost made me give up on life. Haha! You might think I'm exaggerating, I'm not. I was really having a hard time. Super effort ang takbo, ning! Nakakaloka. Good thing, my instructor was nice. He was trying to boost my confidence, which was nowhere to be found at that moment. Hahay. The other things that he made me do was a blur after that. I just followed what he said, and tried to finish the 12 repetitions for 3 sets. My arms almost fell on the floor!

Okay, enough about that. Actually, enough blogging for the day. My arms are really crying for rest at the moment.

Photos from our Subic trip:)

Pretty awesome:)

Sea lion show was fun. But I felt bad for the animals:(

Famleeeeeh picture!

Baba&I with the pussy at the background.

Summer's over? Naaaaah!

[xs] Have a happy school/work week, everyone!:)

:: 06.04 ::

2008-06-04T05:29:00.007-07:00

Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention,
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some.
10:05p

Woah, it's June already?

Soooooo, school opens tomorrow for most of you guys (The Boyfriend included), and for some, well, you guys still have the rest of the weekend to savor the remaining vacation days. My sister has been enjoying her labs since her class started last May. She showed me last night what they prepared: Cheese. Wow, I didn't know that there were different kinds of it. All I know is that they taste good. Real good. Plus, she gets to wear her complete chef's attire with long ass toque already. Naks, shet na shet. Haha:)

As for me, well, no definite plans yet. I'd probably go to the hospital next week and try to apply as a trainee until the results comes out. I heard it's gon be in August. Heck. Far too long agony.

Oh, I have one definite plan: LOSE WEIGHT! Ma transferred her Fitness First account to me last week. Gon have to make use of that one. Seriously.

I. Need. To. Lose. Weight.

No more late nights McDee's:(

Speaking of June, yea, I'm done with the local licensure examination already. That feeling, God, that feeling, I wouldn't forget for the rest of my life. Gaaaaah, that 2 days nearly killed me! Exagge. Haha:) I tried to read/scan my reviewers but always ends up staring somewhere else. It's craaaaazy, I tell you. They (the parents, sister, and The Boyfriend) couldn't even have a decent conversation with me after the exams. My mind totally went kaput!

I'm just so glad that's over. Btw, I would like to thank all of those who prayed and messaged me before the exams. I appreciate it very much.

A friend sent me this message on my mobile earlier.

Her: Good luck on the tests, neng!

Me: Err..I actually took the exams last June 1&2, neng. But nevertheless, thanks:)

Her: Didn't know the exact date e. Better late than never. Hahaha!

And all we can do now is wait:)

Now who says summer's officially come to an end? No way. I still have this weekend to spare before it's officially over. Sure, my review basically killed my summer getaways (I only had 1 beach getaway to Boracay this summer. Boo.) but it's not over for me yet! Pa decided to hit Subic this weekend, and I was all over my notebook and mobile phones for hotel inquiries.

Gah. I didn't know that booking for a room can be this haaaaard. But then again, it's almost weekend already so that makes almost all of the hotels inside the SBMA freakin' full:( I'm still praying that someone would cancel their reservations at Legenda Suites. Hahay. I wish.

Anyway, I already booked a family suite at Dreamland resort along Subic-Clark expressway. It wasn't near the beach, but it has a pool. Sooooo, that'll do. Since we'll probably get there in the afternoon after the Subic tour, kaya okay na din yun. And I'd be with the parentals, Kuya and Ate Tine, the sister and her boyfriend, and of course, The Boyfriend! Family affair to highest level! Uma-outing! Haha:)

And yea, because of the calls I made, my sun line reached its limit. Boo.

Posting this one now. Have a great first day of classes!

Wait, who am I kidding? Haha!

[xs] This photo basically marked the day where the parentals and brother accepted the fact that their girls (my sister and I) are pretty old to handle relationships aka welcoming the boyfriends (officially) to the house:) Yay!

:: 06.03 ::

2008-06-02T17:57:00.004-07:00

What to do? What I ought to do?
9:53p

2 months has gone by real fast.

No more
..brain-busting sessions
..living alone (Well, not really. I've three other friends with me)
..trying hard not to get too attached on other necessities (aka mobile, laptop, telly)
..waking up before 6 in the morning just so I could be ready at 8
..ordering pizza at night when we'd be too tired to go out and eat
..late night study habits at McDee's/Mini Stop at Espana
.."Tinatamad ako pumasok" moments
..giddy moments after class because I was so excited to go home
..boring classes that make my head lag in every direction
..green jokes from our lecturers
..laugh til your tummy hurts
.."magpapa-laundry ako, wala na kong damit!"

I'll continue this later, hafta get ready for a late lunch party-o at the center. See ya!

/edit/
10:18p

I'ma pass on the updates tonight. I'm pretty bushed from all the laughter earlier. No, I didn't drink and drive:) There's no way you can make me drink when I have my car keys with me:) Yun o, self controoooool! Haha!

Bad vibes lang because my car had a minor crap earlier. It wouldn't start! Well, it actually did, but it died few seconds after starting it. Crap. Crap. And I don't have any idea on how my engine works. Shooooot. I panicked for a bit and called Ma up. Good thing I was with my friend, he did something with the battery. Ugh. Yun lang pala. Sheesh.

So yea, had a pretty fun day:)

:: 05.29 ::

2008-05-29T05:08:00.005-07:00

People lie, people hide, people cry, people fight
And they don’t know why.
11:38p

Writing an entry can be such a drag, especially when you find yourself pressing the backspace key a lot.

And I've been doing that since last night. Hmm. Make that last week.

Okay. Sooooo, I'm back at the house. Yeap, I moved out from our apartment yesterday. Wait, I'll save that one for later. Let's start off with what happened last week.

Preboard exams last Saturday and Sunday. Holy crap. I was told not to take it seriously since it's only a preboard exam. But no, it's THE preboard exam. Sure, it wasn't the licensure exam, and there's nothing to lose, but you just gotta give your best at it as well. Anxiety level was pretty high during the first exam, you can tell it by the look on my face. What look, you may ask. Well, a constipated one. Haha:)

The last exam on Sunday morning was the worst of all. It was waaaaay too hard. Or maybe I wasn't really paying much attention to the questions, so I had to reread it twice. Or thrice just to understand it. Ah whatever. I'm just glad that's over.

The Boyfriend picked me up after the exams and we headed home. The family decided to visit Our Lady of Manaoag in Pangasinan that afternoon instead of taking the trip the next day. So, the parents, the brother and the sister-in-law, the sister (her boyfriend wasn't able to come with us), Baba and I left the house around 2pm and braved the ever confusing effects of global warming on the way to Pangasinan. It was raining on some parts, and humid on the other. It's crazy. We arrived at Manaoag around 6 in the evening. Too bad the mass has ended when we got there.

Isdaan at Tarlac has been open for business for the last two years already. I can vaguely remember passing by it whenever we take the trip to La Union few years back, wondering how long it would take them to finish. The place was awesome. No wonder it took years to finish.

Review days are over. Finally. My last session with Nightingale was pretty fun and sad at the same time. Thanks for the 50% off on the NCLEX review. Haha:) Oh, yea. I bagged the Top 2 on the preboard exams. Good times, guys:)

So, yea. I'm home once again. I packed my things and left the small room I've been going "home" to for the last 2 months. It saddens me that I won't be waking up in the morning with those 3 other friends who took the risk and fought the battle with me. This is just the start, and yea, there's a lot more to conquer in the real world.

[xs]Two more days, people. Please include me in your prayers. Thank you very much:)
[xxs] Flickr account HERE. Check it out!
[xxxs] To you: Stop hating. And stop using someone else's account to leave messages on my cbox. That's so low, man. Joesyl, thank you for clearing that up:)

I'm craving for Cello's. Argh.

:: 05.16 ::

2008-05-16T02:04:00.005-07:00

It's a long way down it's so high off the ground,
Sending for an angel to bring me your heart.
8:33p

Toot. Toot.

Toot. Toot.

That was my first shot earlier when I went out, Camsters failed me by running out of batteries.

Sadly, my stash bag's at the apartment.

Forgive me, I don't even know how to start this one out. I'm feeling empty as of the moment and I don't even know why.

It must be the stress creeping in. 15 days left.

Yea, our lecturers kept on repeating the remaining days during classes. We're aware of that, for crying out loud. It adds up to the pressure, you know? Or maybe you guys just love to mess with our heads. I'm kidding. But heck, cut the crap out of it. It's annoying.

15. Days. Left.

Or maybe it's the weather.

Gaaaah. Why does it have to be rainy all of a sudden? I hope it'll be all sunny and summer-y again on the 5th. Or else, I'd be stuck in the island with no use for tanning lotions. Tsk. And we'll end up looking stupid wearing beach outfits walking on a drizzling day. Please, please, rain, GO AWAY on the 5th til the 9th:)

Yea, I wish.

Or maybe it's because I'm home and I'm alone.

Well, not alone-alone, you know? I went home after the first break of our class today, say around 10-ish? I don't want to sit there and listen to the lecture the whoooole day. Maaaaaaan, seriously, my head is aching from all those information. My brain cells needed the break, and so do I. So there I was, clutching my bag out of the class, stopped by at our pad to get some stuff and headed home.

The brother and the sister-in-law left for Boracay few minutes after I got home. Isn't that nice? They're off to celebrate my father's birthday on the island on the 19th. Baaaaaah. My sister's home as well, but she's with her boyfriend soooo that leaves me alone. And miserable.

Nah, I'm kidding. I'm just bored. I'm about to finish a bag of Kisses chocolate truffles (hello, calories!), and I just can't get my hands off my notebook. Maybe after this entry. Yea, I have to hit the books. I know, I know, 15 days left. Haha:)

I miss The Boyfriend. He went to visit me yesterday, which I find really sweet every time he does. We hardly find time to be together these days, so whenever he comes to visit after my class, I get kilig all over. Cheesy. Haha:) I can't wait to get of the room and be with him for a good 2-3 mushy hours. We'd end up talking, cuddling, and yea, eating, of course. I called up the parents last night and let him talk to them. He gave the phone back after saying few words. Haha:)

Sigh. I miss you, Baba:(

Anyway, I missed 2 birthday celebrations, a get together dinner, and a bonding session this week. How pathetic can I get, huh? Hahay. Oh, well, just setting my priorities. The boards tops the list as of the moment. I don't even know why I filed for this one, knowing that I'm leaving for good soon.

For the experience? Maybe. Or maybe not. Whatever.

I have to hit the books now. I'm not attending my class tomorrow so I can read at peace. Riiiiiiiiiiight! But I have class on Sunday, so I'm going back to Manila tomorrow. Awwwww:(

It gets tiring, you know. I can't wait for June.

Wait, I take that back. I still need those 15 days. Haha:)

This is what we do to relieve stress. We eat:)

Enjoying my Pho Hoa while they munch on their Wham burgers.

See our future gymast?:)

:: 05.10 ::

2008-05-10T07:25:00.008-07:00

Bend over girl,
Show me what your working with.
12:36p

No, I'm not going promiscuous (no offense meant!) over my title. Pitbull's Ay Chico's currently playing on my background and whenever I hear that song, oh boooooy, my tushies are everywhere. And so is my tummy. It jiggles everywhere. HAha:) Gotta love the rhythm of that one:)

Anyway, judgment day's just around the corner. My schedule for the remaining weeks are all piled with classes (so forgive me with my laaaame updates. haha!) In fact, I was supposed to go home yesterday because supposedly, I have no class today, but our class was extended 'til 9:30p and they announced that we'd have a regular class today. Good grief. Killing me softly style. Haha:) I was ecstatic when they told us that we don't have class for tomorrow. Soooo, to cut the crap out of it, I'm here at home.

Yun lang.

The Boyfriend picked me up after class and we headed to Sto. Domingo church to visit Our Lady of Manaoag (the one from Pangasinan). I think She'll be there until tomorrow only, so for all you Catholic's out there, go and visit her:)

I don't have much to write right now. My brain cells are currently busy studying. Yea, I have all the fun, while they work their asses out. Haha:)

So, to compensate for the lack of words ---- photos

My first models.

My new baby:)

Exo date.

This is cute:)

Triple date.

AND OH, I just found this one out: I'm one of the contenders on CANDYMAG'S BLOG AWARDS under the BEST OVERALL BLOG category! How cool is that?? Haha:) To all the candymag people, thank you for sharing your time here in my site:)

Spread the love. Thanks:) !CLICK ME!

Also, vote for my Fairy Kai, she's nominated as well!

[xs] To all the mother's in the world, a very Happy Mother's Day to all of you:)

:: 05.06 ::

2008-05-06T00:20:00.002-07:00

'coz all I see is you.
4:18p

I already have an entry dated last May 2, it's here somewhere but I'm too lazy to edit that post. My connection at home sucked balls last weekend. I wasn't able to blog about the exo's movie night and my brother's birthday bash.

Currently waiting for the video on Miami's multiply page to upload: My ladies on the local flick, When Love Begins.

Love the scenery, hate the story. FLOP.

Okay. I'm bored. And there's actually a screamfest going on right now between the pc's and the boys playing counterstrike. Like, seriously? Yea, fucking seriously. My class ended earlier than the usual, and I just had to stay here in the shop for the cool breezy air. Yea, I'd be crisp and crunchy if I stay at our pad at this hour. It's scorching outside.

...Still waiting for the movie to upload.

Anyway, about the post that I was referring to earlier: exo's dinner-margarita-movie-coffee date all in 6 hours and my brother's 25th birthday bash which left me miserable the next day.

Soooo, about the exo date, my fam dropped me off at Trinoma after booze shopping at Duty Free (my Pop's already here, and yes, I am a proud owner of a new dslr cam. Woooot!) Going back, we had a light dinner at Pizza Hut and grabbed some rounds of margaritas at Krokodile Grill, super init. Haha:) Reserved seating for the movie turned out to be 2-hour earlier than it was supposed to. Fun night, though. Again, I love the scenery, but the storyline? *gasp* FLOP. Buti na lang my girls had a cameo in the movie, so I guess that's my one hundred forty pesos worth - seeing them on the big screen. I'm such a proud friend. Haha:)

Booze was overflowing at my brother's bash. Remind me never to drink tequila and vodka like there's no tomorrow. That really banged me haaaaaaard.

And oh yea, my parents left for the island Sunday morning while everyone else was nursing their hangovers, mine really sucked ass. BIG TIME.

We all went out that afternoon, Trinoma for movie, triple date to be exact: My brother and his wife, the sister and her boyfie, and of course, Baba and I. We had a little thing going on that day, but it was completely forgotten over dinner. I love Pho Hoa. I want one now. Shoot. Now I'm craving. PHO HOOOOAAAAA!

Where was I?

Yea, the date. Dinner first at Pho Hoa before heading to the cinema. What's showing? Ironman, baaaaby. I was skeptical about it at first, but it was good. Funny and very entertaining:)

I'd love to blab about some other things, like that night where The Boyfriend showed up unannounced on our door, wait, that was last night. Yea, he went here because he was worried on why I wasn't texting. Cheesy. But sweet. Still, it's freakin cheesy. I love you, babe. Just bear with my mood:)

Okay, I really have to go, the guy beside me kepy hovering over at my station. Creepy.

Have a safe day, everyone!

[xs] Link away, loves! I'll update my links soon:)
[xxs] Photos to follow.
[xxxs] 24 days left. Please include me in your prayers, people. I'd appreciate that very much:)

:: 04.19 ::

2008-04-19T17:07:00.007-07:00

Life goes by,
Every day's a brand new sky.
9:01a

People say that when things aren't bound to happen, you must let go and accept the fact that you're screwed forever.

Nah, I'm kidding. Well, yea, you must accept the fact that it's not meant for you. Maybe soon, but not right now.

This week has been tough for us. All those talks that led to different accusations and outbursts.

One almost gave up. It's that craaaaazy.

When you get to the point wherein it's your dignity that's on the line, what do you do? Run for cover?

I say, head's up and fight.

No matter what they do to bring you down. Words can only do so much, so why give a damn about their shootalks? Sure, it hurts emotionally, BIG TIME, but then again, you have to stand tall and prove to them that they're wrong.

And that's what we're doing right now.

Anywaaaaaay, we've finally filed for the NLE application last friday. Yea, friday's the last day and we were there around 3 in the afternoon and got out alive at 5pm. Easy breezy. No freakin' looong lines for us.[;

Hell month's coming! I have to be really, really, really, really (infinity) serious this time:)

Forgive me, this one's a deranged post. Haha[;

[xs] You've showered us with every blessings that you can send from up above, and I thank you for every thing that comes my way. This is all for You.

[xs] Advanced happy 4th, Baba:) My background song's for you.

:: 04.16 ::

2008-04-15T08:47:00.006-07:00

Boys night out: RADIO TABLOID
12:10a

This is the shoooot, y'all!

I've been listening to Slick and Sam YG for a couple of hours already, and maaaaaan, it's the sickest radio show eveeeer!

Sooooo, yea, I'm back at home. Just for tonight, though.

The school's S.O.'s finally cleared for pick up. About time, if you ask me. Deadline's in hmmmm 2 days? Yea, yea, we haven't filed for application yet. I know, we're screwed. Argh.

Procrastination. LOVE IT. Not.

So yea, as I've said, I'm here at home. Gonna leave again at 8am tomorrow. It's past midnight and I'm still glued on my notebook. Interneeeeeet! Haha[; I've been surfing for the past couple of hours, and maaaaan, I can go on til the sun's up! Haha[;

What's happening with y'all lately, people? I hope all's well with you guys:) I've been pretty sick lately. Nah, not with flu or anything, but sick with studying. I didn't even bother to get my ass back home over the weekend. I stayed at our pad and TRIED to study. Reading and understanding everything until my mind went totally kaput on me. Uh-oh. Another brain cell died. Fcuk. They're slowly dying one by one. It's insane.

Haha[; There I go again with my brain cells. Tsk. I'm really losing it.

Anyway, The Boyfriend picked me up earlier after my class and we got into a little argument (which I find pretty funny NOW) Labo. Haha[; We then headed to the mall to meet up with the family. Had dinner at Tokyo Cafe (that sumptuous meal totally screwed up our "diet") and roamed around for a while. I learned that my sister's flying to Boracay this weekend, and that she'll be managing the hotel while she's there. SUSHAAAAAAL! And yea, I died out of envy once again.

Kaloka.

Boyfriend's sister's gonna be in Boracay as well this weekend. And I'm stuck here, studying.

Posting this one now. It's almost 1am.

Mimay update:) She's a big girl now:)

[xs] To all the USTHS Batch 2002: There will be a reunion this Friday at Giligan's Trinoma. I'm not sure about the time, but it's probably dinner time. Inuman yan malamang. Haha[;
[xxs] To my friends around UST area, go and bang my door along P. Noval street. I missed you, guys!
[xxxs] How about a beach getaway to Boracay for as low as P2,000/night only? That's the sickest price ever, man! Message me for discount!
[xxxxs] You've been always there for me since day 1, no matter how stubborn I was back then (well, I still am). I appreciate all the things that you're doing for me, the efforts are soooo heartwarming. I love you, boyfriend:)

:: 04.05 ::

2008-04-04T22:10:00.002-07:00

I'm a young soul in this very strange world,
Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake.
2:41p

Caution: LAME UPDATE AHEAD

Crappy things tends to get in the way whenever good times rolls in.

And I hate it. BIG TIME.

Soooo, it has been a week. The Boyfriend picked me up yesterday after our class. I missed hooooome! I was practically hugging everyone! Haha[;

I've been locked up with 3 other individuals for a brain-busting sessions somewhere in Espana. Sharing a room with those people gives me an extra boost to take this one seriously. Imagine me sitting on the floor with books scattered everywhere. Funny, right? I don't think I've done that back in high school or college. Although my head still lags in every direction whenever a boring topic is raised and I'd get cross-eyed trying to fight the urge to sleep. I'd even laugh at myself after. It's craaaazy!

Things gets a bit serious when you're getting old. Ack. Did I just say old? Haha[;

My phones are all the luxury/necessity that I have in that room. No telly/car/mall/internet/andotherthingsyoucanthinkof privileges for me. But we did a looooot of eating, so I think that compensates the need for those 'luxuries'. Haha[; My friends sometimes stops by at our place for a visit, which I find very heartwarming. Well, they keep me sane, actually. All those readings can really tire up my remaining functional brain cells.

I was in dire need to check my online accounts last Thursday. Prohibited to use the internet, I opted to search for a WLAN using my mobile, NO LUCK. I transferred my credits to my mate and tried connecting using my network, and it worked! I was ecstatic. Haha[; Forgive me, I'm shallow like that. But checking your accounts with your P1i handset isn't really helpful at all. It made me crave for my laptop and dsl connection at home:(

What else? Yes, no boracay photos with the girls to share. I died out of envy last night when I checked my multiply account. Gaaaah. Sexy ladies! Loveeeet:)

Posting this one now, I'm off to the mall with Mamers and sister. Have a safe week, everyone!:)

[xs] Speaking of my dear sister, check out CANDY MAG's site. She's the face of the week:)
[xxs] Thank you for the clicks! I'm happy to know that people still visit my page:)
[xxxs] You. Be unique. Nurture your own thing and stop annoying me. Respect begets respect, woman:)
[xxxxs] Wow. I reached 4 xs. Haha[; I love you, Boyfriend:)

:: 03.27 ::

2008-03-26T23:56:00.004-07:00

Uh-oh.
3:26p

Hitting the beach tomorrow with my girls.

Wait, scratch that - THEY'RE hitting the beach tomorrow. Shoot.

Sudden turn of events, my life's about to change in a few days.

I'm still psyched about summer, but yea, classes starts on Monday already. So, that means no Boracay for me this weekend (might reconsider that one tomorrow. We'll see.)

Gaaaaah. I'm moving out for two months. You guys probably know where I'm heading.

I need to take this one seriously. Wish me luck, people!

:: 03.25 ::

2008-03-25T01:21:00.010-07:00

Here she comes,
Golden island senorita.
6:23p

On my last entry, I told you guys that my brain cells were all dead drunk, now's a different story, they all had a beach hangover last weekend.

Beach hangover. WTH. Haha[;

Sooooo, I'm back from our recent beach getaway, which was a blast, by the way. Awesome, awesome trip, I tell you. I was with Mamers, my sister and her 2 friends.

Thursday was filled with a lot of eating and walking, and yea, climbing. We tried hanging out, literally, at D'Wall in D'Mall. It was supposed to be a 3-way climb for the girls but there were only 2 personnel to assist the climbers, so there I was left with no choice but to climb with them. It was my first time to do this stuff, and it was fun:) Good times.

Another angel wings for me:)

Food stopover.

Hanging out, literally.

I met up with Mia again after dinner, and she tagged along with us back to Guilly's Island. Beach House '08 party was freakin' great. Mixed old&new tracks, loooooveet! Everyone was on their feet dancing and drinking the night away. Pitchers and shakers of Mai Tai and Weng-weng accompanied us throughout the night. Bump and grind, baby:)

Friday was spent at home, nursed the aching bodies. Haha[; We just went out for dinner at Bite Club and went back home.

Snow cone overload on Saturday, bought pasalubongs, and yea, we got spotted by Havaianas:) Actually, the guy from Havies spotted my sister when I went back to the hotel to get my cap, good thing he was still there when I got back. 2 giant havies, please!

Fan mode.

Dinner at Jonah's with Mia, and headed to Big Fish's Slinky party for free tickets. I had no plan on partying that night so I just waited for her to hand me back my Mom's phone (nokia users can get in for free, too bad I was using Sony Ericsson). The walk back to the hotel was tiring. There were people all over the shore. Kamikaze was playing for the Fit 'N Right thingy, and Bamboo was playing for Pepsi. Imagine the people swarming all over the stage. I even walked on the beach with the water up my thigh!

It was bitin, but heck, I'm going back there next week with my girls!

[xs] Quality time with The Boyfriend after his duty. I missed him:)

:: 03.17 ::

2008-03-16T19:24:00.006-07:00

No one could ever shake this,
The soul we share, the things we've done.
12:15p

I'm officially a bum.

It has been a thrilling ride for the past years of my stay in college. And now that it's over and done, I found myself off to nowhere once again.

Well, not really. There's the series of examinations to take, the unending talks whether to pursue masteral programs, or volunteer in a hospital.

Right now, I just want to relax and dig my toes into the sand.

I'll worry about that when I get back from the beach. Aaah, can't wait.

Anyway, I had my pinning and graduation over the weekend. I can't believe it's over. Like really over. End of my college life. Start of living in reality. Real crappy reality.

Forgive me for the lame entry. My brain cells had a celebration til the wee hours of the morning. They were all dead drunk. I'm expecting a major hangover from them later.

Another flattering photo of mine:)

:: 03.10 ::

2008-03-09T17:59:00.011-07:00

Everything you know is wrong.
Well, almost.
- Earth to Bella
12:04p

My head hurts from thinking,

and my heart just doesn't seem to care.

I told my friend once to stop making things complicated.

It simply disrupts her way of living.

I think I need someone to slap me with that one.

Life is simple.

If you stop making a big fuss out of it, that is.

I blurted out to my friends yesterday that there'd be a big possibility of a change in my status in the coming days.

They were outraged.

Not really. I exaggerated that one a bit.

They threw out different comments.

Words that I didn't even bother to hear.

I nod my head a few times, just to let them know I was listening.

Well, sort of.

I think I'm losing him.

Wait.

It's more like - he's losing me.

I'm lost for words.

My emotional status is a bit deranged as of the moment.

I don't want to talk.

Just yet.

I might regret my decisions.

But then again,

It'll hurt just the same.

Hormones.

Stupid hormones.

Yea, it's that time of the month again.

"Truth hurts. So, we lie.."

- Meredith Grey

:: 03.07 ::

2008-03-07T01:10:00.004-08:00

I'm swinging from you,
And there's nothing I would rather do.
8:03p

I ditched going to the Cheap Kingdom with Mamers to stay at home and wait for the possible caesarian delivery at the hospital.

Apparently, I'm still at home, and yes, no calls yet.

Ahhh, the downside of being on the "on call" list.

I popped in Good Luck Chuck earlier, cool movie - lots of humping actions, and I'm currently waiting for the episodes of Grey's Anatomy to finish uploading so I can watch it without getting the hang ups. My sister, who has a 4-hour break before her next class (sucks, huh?), called me up earlier and told me about this site WatchTVSitcoms Go and check it out for your viewing pleasure.

Also, I have colds since last night, and I've been chugging down green tea with my black beer mug which makes me pee like crazy. I don't know the relevance of the two, you know, green tea and colds, well, I know (I think), but my brain cells are currently swimming in goo, soooo, nah. Does colds travels up to the brain area?

I think I need a hobby. Pronto.

Anyway, checking for messages on my mobile would be the next thing I do in the morning after opening my eyes. Yes, I'm one of them. Forwarded messages and the likes greeted me yesterday morning, but one message made me get out of bed: "Confirmed OR at 7am", received 5:15am, and it was 30 minutes after 6 when I read it.

Nice. Then the phone rang.

Freaky. Well, not really, because I knew who it was. She informed me about the case while my hands were on the phone sending messages to the others.

I got there roughly around 8a, met up with the fellow on call student and changed into our scrubs. Good thing, the incision just started when we entered the room.

Exploratory Laparotomy, a type of surgery where the abdomen is opened and explored to examine the internals of a person. It may sound sick, disgusting, and down right nasty to some, but for me, it's awesome right there.

Awesomeness.

It felt like seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time, or something like it because I haven't seen the Grand Canyon, just yet. You dig me.

Gallstones are supposed to be in the gallbladder, but in this rare case, 5 solid forms of gallstones were all obstructing in her distal ileum. How Grey's Anatomy can you get?

Okay, that was from the doctor. But seriously, it was such a high seeing that one.
[xs] Yes, my nails are still hot pink. And no, I didn't scrub in with those nails, all I did was observe. And it was a lot cooler than being the scrub or circulating nurse on that case because I was able to see the surgery up close. Just getting that one out of the way because you might use it against me, okay?
[xxs] Intestines, stomach, gallbladder, heart, lungs, a looot of blood and likes - THIS IS ME. These are my interests, my thing. I am not asking for anything, but the least thing that you can do for me is to respect my personal space. You can rant about anything, but please, spare me from your down right rudely manner. Everyone has their own interests, and forgive me if I disgust you or anything, but internals are my thing, and there's nothing you can do about it.

:: 03.05 ::

2008-03-05T04:02:00.007-08:00

My heart melts into the ground,
Found something true.
9:09p

I'm currently on a break, 2-week break to be exact before I graduate, and I'm really bored to death. How much more after my graduation?

I painted my toenails frosted 14-K Gold (indicated on the bottle) but it's more like a dark frosted pink bordering the purple hue, and played with the hot pink bottle on my fingernails.

HOT PINK, I painted my nails HOT PINK for crying out loud. Maaaan, I must be really bored.

And yea, I also dyed my hair golden brown yesterday. All by myself, meaning there are streaks of uneven hair color everywhere. Shoot, this is not healthy. What's next?

Ugh. Boredom. Such a boring word.

Anyway, I had an early day today. Woke up to my brother's drumming skills (no, we don't have a drum set) apparently, he was banging my door with such grace that made me scream, "Gising na!"

We headed off to Libertad, in DFA to be exact. If you guys are planning to get a passport or off to renew yours, check out the online passport application. I think you'll just have to pay roughly about 1,300 (not sure about that), and voila, you'll just have to wait for a schedule for your personal appearance at DFA. Easy as 1,2,3. You wouldn't have to endure the loooong lines and all that shit. You know what I mean.

Since everyone's got something off their sleeves ealier: sister - 11:30am class, brother - 2pm basketball game, Mamers - 1pm class, soooo I, bored and alone, decided to visit the sick boyfriend.

I'd continue blogging about The sick Boyfriend, but he might read this, well I know he's gonna read this, sooooo I'd skip the details.

I miss him. He's sick. And I couldn't even give him a hug. Aww:( I just held his hands while watching Spanglish. Poor sick boyfriend. I hope you'd get well soon:)

---

I was reading my Gapuz review book yesterday, totally bored, I fell asleep. The sight of Pugad Baboy comicbook didn't even budge my boredom.

Holyshit. Paano kung seryosong review class na ang pinasukan ko? Tsk tsk.

Must. Get. Back. On. Track.

Well, maybe after my March and April Bora trips:)

Maarte.